u/CatCow_1

Hello, im a 26(f) and recently graduated with a computer science degree December of 2025. I had an internship where I did both automated testing and technical writing and really enjoyed during the summer of 2025. I've had interviews for QA and product support, but didn't end up getting those jobs. I eventually applied to skillstorm which is a company that trains and contracts people to big 4 companies, it's kind of like revature. Anyway, I passed the technical interview portion, but the companies clients are finicky and kept changing details last minute so I decided to do some more applying. I eventually found a job as a support specialist that I thought would be a little more technical, but isn't. It's for a company that allows others to stream highschool sports games through an app. My job is to help schools troubleshoot the computers, camera equipment, and scoreboards when they malfunction. I also respond to customer emails when they need help canceling their subscriptions, want refunds, need to reset their password, or can't find their account. The job doesn't require a degree, but pays decently so I was thinking about studying for an A+ certification while there because the experience seems relevant for an IT job, but I kind of miss programming and am not sure if I want to give that up. However, it seems harder to find a job programming related due to AI and I don't know how feasible of a career path it is anymore.

It also took me 7 years to get me degree. I was not a computer science major for the first 2 and I struggled with my mental health when I first went off to college so I would only take 1 or 2 classes some semesters. At this point, I kind of want to relax a bit but realize that I'm not quite where I want to be and know that it takes some work to get there. I'm still thinking about swe adjacent jobs, but feel like it would be an uphill battle on top of working 40 hours a week. Shortly after graduating, I started refreshing myself on programming concepts and had a few project ideas and how I would implement them. Now that I have a job, I feel like getting a cert would be a little less strenuous. I also would like to add that u have thought about IT as a backup plan for maybe 2 years now and that this is not a knee jerk reaction.

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Hello, im a 26(f) but I feel powerless and like I dont have any agency even though I know I do. I suffered from depression since middle school and it got so bad that I would cry for practically no reason almost everyday. I didn't make friends easily because I didn't know how to talk to people and had little support at home because my mom had schitzoeffective disorder and she and my dad were dealing with her mental disorders. I always had a very critical inner voice that critiqued everything I did and this voice only got worse around middle school. When I got to highschool, I had thoughts of suicide and depression only got worse. The people around me didn't take it seriously and suggested that because I live in a nice house in a good neighborhood that I didn't really have anything to be upset about. My mom mental health got worse and she used to accuse me and my dad of having sex with eachother which is not true at all. One time, I got into a fight with my mom about her mental health issues and my sister called the police. The police officer rolled her eyes at me and seemed to imply that I was making everything up and said I was acting bratty.

This upset me because I loved my mom when I was younger, and thought I would be able to fix her but she refused to recognize that anything was wrong with her. I realize that her mental health was not my responsibility as a teen and that I could have dealt with it better but it upset me for someone to invalidate what I was going though. I used to run track in highscjool and sometimes I would cry as a result of anxiety and I expressed my issues to my track coach and she asked if my momma beat me becuase I was acting like a wimp.

I didn't really like being around my dad because all he talked about was my mom and all the issues he was having with her. I tried getting a job when I was 16, but I got fired after 3 days becuase I wasn't talking enough and I was picking up on it fast enough. I tried 2 other fast food jobs and even though I stayed there, I moved slow and sometimes coworkers were rude to me as a result. People also tend to see me as younger than what I am (even as a 26 year old, I get mistaken for a high schooler) and sometimes I feel they don't take me as seriously. Older men also liked to hit on me alot and would tell me to smile constantly.

Eventually, I went to college and my mental health became worse. I swallowed an entire bottle of Tylenol (maybe 150 -200 pills). I was home for Thanksgiving break when this happened, so I went to sleep in my childhood bedroom. My sister woke me up because my fam was about to do something and she said I woke up but could not walk or talk properly. My dad decided he was going to take me to the hospital but while they put me into the car, they I had a seizure so they had to call the ambulance. I spent some time in the ER and eventually the psychward and changed my medication.

Because of this, my dad told me he wanted me to live closer to home, so I enrolled in community college. I decided on a major, but while I was taking those classes, I was not sure if all those credits would transfer. I bought this up to my dad but he kept on insisting that all 2 year degrees transfer. I finished that program but realized only a few of those credits transfered and that I had to spend another years in university. I love my dad, but he could be sort of controlling and always had to know what I was doing.

I eventually enrolled in the 4 year school, got a job that I'm good at (teaching children programming), and got 2 internships for experience. During this time, my mom became homeless because she spent all the money my dad gave her in the divorce and refused to get a job because of her mental health issues (she had not worked for 13 years at this point due to her problems) and sometimes I would see her on my college campus. My university is located in an urban area with a high homeless population. Some days I visited her becuase I felt bad and new I was powerless to truly help her and other days I resented her because she made my childhood more difficult. I eventually graduated university this past December and just found a job in Tech support.

I've been at the job for 2 weeks now and am still in training, but I already feel anxious and am scared of getting fired. My trainer is the nicest person ever but I'm scared of eventually living the day when they tell me I'm not keeping up and that they'll have to let me go. Anytime I don't understand something, there is always this amalgamation of past voices that tell me I wouldn't be able to do it. I think at least part of the reason people treat me the way I do is becuase I need reassurance that what I'm doing is correct. I know that might come across as childish, but the reason why I sometimes feel like I need reassurance is becuase I feel like sometimes people don't give me a chance to mess up. I asked my trainer if she had any critiques, and she said I was doing fine, but needed to stop second guessing myself. I also feel like alot of people just see me as incapable and some people have treated me like my feelings don't matter and that I'm someone to take their anger out on.

I'm trying to feel empowered and like I have some sort of agency in my life but it's hard.

I feel powerless sometimes

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Hello, im a 26(f) but I feel powerless and like I dont have any agency even though I know I do. I suffered from depression since middle school and it got so bad that I would cry for practically no reason almost everyday. I didn't make friends easily because I didn't know how to talk to people and had little support at home because my mom had schitzoeffective disorder and she and my dad were dealing with her mental disorders. I always had a very critical inner voice that critiqued everything I did and this voice only got worse around middle school. When I got to highschool, I had thoughts of suicide and depression only got worse. The people around me didn't take it seriously and suggested that because I live in a nice house in a good neighborhood that I didn't really have anything to be upset about. My mom mental health got worse and she used to accuse me and my dad of having sex with eachother which is not true at all. One time, I got into a fight with my mom about her mental health issues and my sister called the police. The police officer rolled her eyes at me and seemed to imply that I was making everything up and said I was acting bratty.

This upset me because I loved my mom when I was younger, and thought I would be able to fix her but she refused to recognize that anything was wrong with her. I realize that her mental health was not my responsibility as a teen and that I could have dealt with it better but it upset me for someone to invalidate what I was going though. I used to run track in highscjool and sometimes I would cry as a result of anxiety and I expressed my issues to my track coach and she asked if my momma beat me becuase I was acting like a wimp.

I didn't really like being around my dad because all he talked about was my mom and all the issues he was having with her. I tried getting a job when I was 16, but I got fired after 3 days becuase I wasn't talking enough and I was picking up on it fast enough. I tried 2 other fast food jobs and even though I stayed there, I moved slow and sometimes coworkers were rude to me as a result. People also tend to see me as younger than what I am (even as a 26 year old, I get mistaken for a high schooler) and sometimes I feel they don't take me as seriously. Older men also liked to hit on me alot and would tell me to smile constantly.

Eventually, I went to college and my mental health became worse. I swallowed an entire bottle of Tylenol (maybe 150 -200 pills). I was home for Thanksgiving break when this happened, so I went to sleep in my childhood bedroom. My sister woke me up because my fam was about to do something and she said I woke up but could not walk or talk properly. My dad decided he was going to take me to the hospital but while they put me into the car, they I had a seizure so they had to call the ambulance. I spent some time in the ER and eventually the psychward and changed my medication.

Because of this, my dad told me he wanted me to live closer to home, so I enrolled in community college. I decided on a major, but while I was taking those classes, I was not sure if all those credits would transfer. I bought this up to my dad but he kept on insisting that all 2 year degrees transfer. I finished that program but realized only a few of those credits transfered and that I had to spend another years in university. I love my dad, but he could be sort of controlling and always had to know what I was doing.

I eventually enrolled in the 4 year school, got a job that I'm good at (teaching children programming), and got 2 internships for experience. During this time, my mom became homeless because she spent all the money my dad gave her in the divorce and refused to get a job because of her mental health issues (she had not worked for 13 years at this point due to her problems) and sometimes I would see her on my college campus. My university is located in an urban area with a high homeless population. Some days I visited her becuase I felt bad and new I was powerless to truly help her and other days I resented her because she made my childhood more difficult. I eventually graduated university this past December and just found a job in Tech support.

I've been at the job for 2 weeks now and am still in training, but I already feel anxious and am scared of getting fired. My trainer is the nicest person ever but I'm scared of eventually living the day when they tell me I'm not keeping up and that they'll have to let me go. Anytime I don't understand something, there is always this amalgamation of past voices that tell me I wouldn't be able to do it. I think at least part of the reason people treat me the way I do is becuase I need reassurance that what I'm doing is correct. I know that might come across as childish, but the reason why I sometimes feel like I need reassurance is becuase I feel like sometimes people don't give me a chance to mess up. I asked my trainer if she had any critiques, and she said I was doing fine, but needed to stop second guessing myself. I also feel like alot of people just see me as incapable and some people have treated me like my feelings don't matter and that I'm someone to take their anger out on.

I'm trying to feel empowered and like I have some sort of agency in my life but it's hard.