u/Cassorr

I have to go shopping for a new psych as I won’t have my current one in the next 6 months (male & I love him he’s great and understands/knows me well).

I saw someone today and she tried brushing off my bipolar diagnosis said, I’m not really seeing bipolar I’m seeing ADHD/PTSD and borderline. Then she tried explaining off my delusions in mania as “trauma related”. Then catches herself later and is like, “oh see that aligns with bipolar”. She also stated “the psychiatrist and them can deal with that stuff (the bipolar) and I can help with finding your identity all this stuff aside “.

I’m in a pretty vulnerable mental state already struggling on whether or not my delusions are real or not, recent med dose increase due to said delusions and breakthrough mania, and overall accepting I’m mentally ill since this is all as of the very beginning of this year and struggling with med adherence due to lack of insight.

I was under the impression that psychiatrists and psychologists should be working together not separate.

Red flags or should I give her another session?

If you don't feel like reading the whole thing, the QUESTION is;
Have you gotten through manic episodes without a grippy sock vacation?

If these are even considered delusions, they just don’t seem that bad and seem plausible. I have rarely opened up about my "weird thoughts" due to fear of judgement or I was in my own head and thought it was normal (still do).

These are some of the thoughts I can remember on different occasions (come and go sometimes lingering in the back of my mind);

(2023, on SSRI's) I thought the government was poisoning us all through the artificial ingredients and chemicals in everything, so I stayed up all night on very little sleep for days throwing every away, rebuying and researching everything.

(2024) I believed my dreams could predict the tuture.

(2025) I believed I was destined to be a prophet or that God was delivering messages to me through my dreams. I desperately tired to find a dream interpreter in my church.

(2026) (within a week of taking SSRI's) I thought life wasn't real and through I needed to off myself to wake up (this got me a grippy sock vacation and diagnosis.

(April 2026) (Stopped meds for 4 days) -God turned off the TV on purpose to make me go figure out what he wanted me to do. -A sinister bird was sent to me as a bad Omen. Thinking I’m just a bad Christian and demons are attacking me and was never Bipolar.

(April 2026) (Breakthrough Episode while on AP’s)
-I thought God was communicating to me through signs (raining, car accident, sermons) and thought my husband and I could predict sermons our pastor was preaching.
-Thought Mac Miller (who's dead) was conjuring birds in the sky through his song "Avian".
-Walked into a medical office and thought I walked onto a movie set (Truman Show Syndrome).

If you don't feel like reading the whole thing, the QUESTION is;
Have you gotten through manic episodes without a grippy sock vacation?

If these are even considered delusions, they just don’t seem that bad and seem plausible. I have rarely opened up about my "weird thoughts" due to fear of judgement or I was in my own head and thought it was normal (still do).

These are some of the thoughts I can remember on different occasions (come and go sometimes lingering in the back of my mind);

(2023, on SSRI's) I thought the government was poisoning us all through the artificial ingredients and chemicals in everything, so I stayed up all night on very little sleep for days throwing every away, rebuying and researching everything.

(2024) I believed my dreams could predict the tuture.

(2025) I believed I was destined to be a prophet or that God was delivering messages to me through my dreams. I desperately tired to find a dream interpreter in my church.

(2026) (within a week of taking SSRI's) I thought life wasn't real and through I needed to off myself to wake up (this got me a grippy sock vacation and diagnosis.

(April 2026) (Stopped meds for 4 days) -God turned off the TV on purpose to make me go figure out what he wanted me to do. -A sinister bird was sent to me as a bad Omen. Thinking I’m just a bad Christian and demons are attacking me and was never Bipolar.

(April 2026) (Breakthrough Episode while on AP’s)
-I thought God was communicating to me through signs (raining, car accident, sermons) and thought my husband and I could predict sermons our pastor was preaching.
-Thought Mac Miller (who's dead) was conjuring birds in the sky through his song "Avian".
-Walked into a medical office and thought I walked onto a movie set (Truman Show Syndrome).

I’m so f***ing pissed off today.

It’s already Friday and I have no idea what’s going on at work. I can’t process anything at meetings. Like I am not keeping up mentally at all after this dose increase (I had breakthrough mania last week.)

Son’s school complained to my husband about me leaving a f***ing sticky note to the teacher to specify what he’s wrong doing to get on Red or Yellow (behavior chart). HOW TF IS THAT BAD TO ASK ABOUT?! They said I give his teacher anxiety and she’s scared of me, what a p***y a** b***h.

My mom (unmedicated bipolar but also an abusive drug addict) when I was in elementary school wasn’t allowed on the premises or to talk to any of the school staff. Why tf are they treating me the same way. I’m not some evil b****.

It’s astonishing how no one talked about my behavior before being diagnosed (aside from supervision at work) and now it seems like everything I do is put into one of 4 categories (manic, depressed, mixed/enraged, delusional).

I keep getting into trouble at work, I have no friends and no one to talk to about this aside from my husband who doesn’t understand majority of what I go through.

This “diagnosis” is consuming my life, I’m done. I want it to stop. Why am I even here if I’m the bane of everyone’s existence? I bring nothing to this world.

I’m so f***ing pissed off today.

It’s already Friday and I have no idea what’s going on at work. I can’t process anything at meetings. Like I am not keeping up mentally at all after this dose increase (I had breakthrough mania last week.)

Son’s school complained to my husband about me leaving a f***ing sticky note to the teacher to specify what he’s wrong doing to get on Red or Yellow (behavior chart). HOW TF IS THAT BAD TO ASK ABOUT?! They said I give his teacher anxiety and she’s scared of me, what a p***y a** b***h.

My mom (unmedicated bipolar but also an abusive drug addict) when I was in elementary school wasn’t allowed on the premises or to talk to any of the school staff. Why tf are they treating me the same way. I’m not some evil b****.

It’s astonishing how no one talked about my behavior before being diagnosed (aside from supervision at work) and now it seems like everything I do is put into one of 4 categories (manic, depressed, mixed/enraged, delusional).

I keep getting into trouble at work, I have no friends and no one to talk to about this aside from my husband who doesn’t understand majority of what I go through.

This “diagnosis” is consuming my life, I’m done. I want it to stop. Why am I even here if I’m the bane of everyone’s existence? I bring nothing to this world.

My question is; what did it take for you to be compliant with meds?

Diagnosed Bipolar 2 Feb 2026 after being put on SSRI (the Z one). Got put inpatient for “hypomania” and intermittent delusions & severe paranoia.

I’ve gone off my meds twice for two days in February trying to chase the euphoria of hypomania that got me a grippy sock vacation. My husband forced me to take them via emotional manipulation.

I went off them again April 8th for 4 days and delusions came back intermittently.

Been back on them since the April 12th and got super irritable for a week, then went into severe hypomania, and delusions came back.

My psychologist mentioned the delusions are worse than last time, and I asked how I’m Bipolar 2 with delusions. He said maybe it’s 1 and we been missing it. Seems like he’s collecting data and teetering between 1 & 2.

I have no insight on my own symptoms, I think I’m fine and normal. My psychologist mentioned I said myself I’d probably have to learn the hard way in order to believe I need the meds, as many people with this condition do. I’m not gonna lie, I’m scared to see what that life lesson would look like yet I still keep getting stuck thinking I never needed the meds in the first place, and chase the mania. It’s incredibly frustrating and stressful for my husband to deal with yet I don’t care atm.

We agreed on a dosage increase to get the breakthrough symptoms under control. But i feel like this cycle of med compliance, then “oh i don’t need them” is never going to end.