u/Carriedot16

For context I (30f) got my BPD diagnosis Jan 2025 during a stay in the acute mental health ward. My dad (62m) is most of the reason for abandonment issues & most of the trauma I have from early childhood. We barely talk. He married his now wife (50s?f) while I was still in high school (was told AFTER they got married, but I digress).

I’ve never really gotten along with her, she really wanted to be a mother figure to me, but a) my mom is one of my bffs, I don’t need another mom and b) I don’t really enjoy her. I sometimes text my dad, but NEVER contact her directly.

Anyways, a bit ago, she messages me on Facebook out of the blue (I was hospitalized again in Dec for mental health and this was after that, believe I had made a post being vulnerable about my diagnosis and mental state), saying that my dad was getting a late in life adhd diagnosis & she was wondering if I feel like that applies to me.

Strange to try to talk about that with no context, but I went into the conversation trying to see where she was coming from. She the sent walls of text from books, saying that it’s very possible im just “neurospicy” (she ruined that term for me with how often she used it…) & do not have BPD.

She said herself that she had not done ANY prior reading on BPD, but thought I should look into this instead. To disregard the psychiatrist & my own gut feeling upon reading the signs of BPD (I do have more of a “quiet” variation I believe, more towards myself than others, and I do mask it well.) never asks me questions, just quotes books at me (her and my dad are both professors).

I’m not against the idea that I could be autistic, I could see it, but I KNOW I have BPD & that’s what I’m medicated for (that’s been helping tremendously) & in therapy for. That’s what I’m working on.

Honestly, it felt like they found out that BPD is from childhood wounds & trauma & abandonemnt & wanted to make themselves feel better. If I had something like autism or ADHD, it wouldn’t be their fault other than genetics for my struggles. If I do have BPDt, and they accepted my diagnosis, they’d have to take accountability. Which my father has shown he isn’t willing to do.

Just frustrating. Since this, I’ve talked to my dad even less and have considered blocking my dad’s wife from social media, but also know that would result in all out war & not really wanting to start that ugh.

I’m (30f) in small town Ontario and have been diagnosed with endo and adeno only formally (yet).

I’ve always struggled with some joint pain (especially in hands and knees throughout life, hips into adult years), but figured that it was only a matter of time with my mom having IGG4 (they thought it was lupus for years, but finally got it right 2 years ago), 3 different kinds of arthritis, & osteoporosis now.

I’ve always had chronic nausea (didn’t realize I did, just thought it was normal till a few years ago) with no clear reason. Have had a few scopes through the years and all have been fine.

Had a laparoscopy for the endo/adeno diagnosis in late 2021, where 24 hours after I was in the ER puking. Turns out my bowel just stopped working and my kidneys were failing and I was in the icu for a week and my doctor truly didn’t think I was gonna make it. So yay?

After the birth of my son in 2024, I had a few weird heart problems (would black out after standing up, weird palpitations, Apple Watch would say I’m having afib), but wore a holter monitor for 2 weeks and a bp cuff for 24 hours and they found nothing and it seemed to resolve on its own?

In February, I turned 30 & my entire body just fell apart. A week beforehand, my period started (horribly as always), but it came with my appetite being hugely suppressed. This turned into vomiting and being able to keep nothing down. During this week, I also started having the heart problems again but WAY worse. I had air hunger, palpitations, chest pain, laying down didn’t even help. Went to emerg both for a bad heart moment where I had worries and for constant vomiting. ECGs and blood work all came back normal all times and was given fluids for vomiting and just shrugged at. (Normal for me, but bringing my trauma back from having hyperemesis in pregnancy, so yay?)

Vomiting eventually subsided, worsened nausea & suppressed appetite persisted. Vomiting worsens during period. Heart problems still happening. I can be leisurely picking up my son’s toys with a heart rate of 155 and finding it difficult to breathe. I can also be sitting for long periods of time where my heart rate suddenly drops to the 40s for a few moments, only to spike back up to 70-80. My heart rate never gets that low even while I’m sleeping.

I’m in constant full body pain, constantly exhausted, troubles with food and eating and nausea, and severe brain fog and memory problems. All severely worsening around February with no life changes other than my body seeing that I’ve turned 30 & deciding to give up.

Saw doctor Tuesday. I have a referral to rheumatology, said I’d be contacted in 60 days back in feb with no sign of them, have now been referred to a clinic in Ottawa for endo (because they’re now taking that pain seriously finally?? Doctor said he doesn’t think anything is related and is taking everything separately??? So idk), and a referral to gastroenterology. Also to get an ultrasound for abdominal area, both outside and vaginally. ALL of these things are an hour and a half away at least (even the ultrasound as my hospital is super backed up apparently). I’m supposed to see my family doctor at end of June to follow up, and if I don’t hear from rheumatology by then, he’ll send a message.

Won’t give pain meds other than naproxen to only take during period. Attributed the new and worsening brain fog and forgetfulness to a new mental health med I was prescribed and got to full dose by beginning of December.

Have had blood work for lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, IGG4, celiac, and so many more things. I have suspicions of EDS (something I found out existed a few months ago thanks to a random fb group popping up and saying “wait, my thumb isn’t meant to bend like that????”), but obviously no real leads.

Just in pain and confused and can’t really work. I’m a wedding photographer and am so scared for wedding season.

If you made it this far, thank you. I am struggling so much mentally and physically with all of this. It’s taking a toll on my marriage due to finances with me unable to pick up a job due to pain.