u/Carnasio

I'm reposting since I added more chapter and also a bunch of people keep sending me emails lmao, so I'd rather have people solely message me on reddit and not have a link up.

Marcia Skirvin's Melancholy is a magical-realism novel set in 2008 about a teenage girl named Sara Barclay that goes on vacation to the other side of the country, where she meets a bizarre girl named Marcia Skirvin who seems to hunt invisible monsters.

Blurb: Downfallers. Sara has no clue what they are, other than they can see things that others can't. Marcia, a girl she met the day she arrived in Aracil Valley, is one of them. Feeling helpless and wishing to help her eradicate the monsters she hunts, Sara starts sneaking around for clues on what exactly are those beasts Marcia calls fireflies and why she has to kill them.

During her search, she stumbles on Marcia's friends and old enemies, dark hidden secrets that defy the laws of logic, and on a budding love that she isn't really ready to admit just yet.

Sample to see if we vibe: The air was thick with anticipation. The comrades lined to her sides were waiting for something, anything. Sara took a curious peek at them, but they were blurry, their faces hidden by mist. She moved her eyes up, gazing at the crimson moon lighting up the dark sea spanning in front of them. They were standing on a beach not too far away from the lights of town, and the lapping of the waves was almost rocking her to sleep. Almost.

Whispers floated up to her ears, but a gust of salty wind blew them away before Sara could understand what they were saying. Her eyes dropped to her hands. Her fingers were gripping a long knife coated with a dark liquid that dripped into a red puddle at her feet. The odour of iron wafted to her nose, making her grimace in disgust.

Somehow, she wasn’t scared. She felt an odd sense of determination instead, as if whatever she was waiting for had it coming for a long time.

Sara blinked and suddenly, everything around her was chaos. Her companions and she were frantically running around the beach, lunging at glowing creatures with their weapons, slashing and digging into their compact shells, animated by an unknown desire to kill. Her vision still fogged up like a windshield in winter, she could barely make out the true shape of the monsters.

Content Warnings: Fighting, blood, death

Feedback: I appreciate any kind of feedback and the target audience is YA. It's not intended to be a literary work of art, it's my first time writing romance as well, so maybe that's why I don't feel confident. I'm mostly looking for vibes, if you think it's not too cringy lol.

I can swap! Hopefully, for a project around that size (70-75K) or smaller. Please DM me if you’re interested!

Thank you all!

Hey BC, it's me again lol. I took the time to rewrite my query as what you told me last time was pretty insightful. I changed the genre to middle-grade and tried to incorporate my prose more. This time though, I fear it might be too long. You did mention that I buried things in my previous post, like what the characters know and the stakes. Hopefully this is more clear. Please let me know what you think!

***

Minos can hear the rocks and smell the melodies of the birds. He sees the wind dance between the leaves, he can taste the sweetness of the ferns in the air. His fingers tremble at the caress of Atropos’ words.

They have come for us. Run.

A group of men with sights on the commune of children living in harmony in the deep forest. Targeting them for no reason, striking fear deep in their hearts. And so he runs. He runs away, carrying his baby brother Arthur in his arms as he leaves the rest of the other children behind. His brother isn’t like them. He’s not made for the forest. Minos can only abandon the others, fighting his way through a forest that refuses to let them leave in hopes of saving his dying, precious Arthur.

The spirits of the woods are initially kind to him. They tell him of a way out, but not without much pain and sacrifice. Still, Minos takes the bait. He has to evade their pursuers. First the brothers meet Qilin, the girl standing in the middle of a lake of a sticky liquid Arthur remembers their father drinking. Then Wendi, a beast that screams abusive remarks at Minos like his mother would. Finally, Zalco, a boy that takes pleasure in beating Minos and making him grovel before him.

Each tries to force forgotten memories out to the surface, prodding Minos for answers and smiling when he cries. Yet, Minos persists, refusing to unearth the pains of his past family and the reason as to why the brothers are in the woods, focusing on getting out as quickly as he can. The men looming ever closer, Minos must make it out before Arthur joins the earth and claims his place by his side in the forest.

RIGHT BY HIS SIDE is an upper middle-grade magical-realism story with literary elements complete at around 17 000 words. It combines the complex sibling relationships and parental grief in Jeanne Birdsall’s The Penderwicks, the approach on grief and loss in Jessica Vitalis’ The Wolf’s Curse as well as the mysterious forest in John Connelly's The Book Of Lost Things.

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My bio seemed to be good so I won't bother including it again. Thank you for taking a look!