I’m just going through the emotions right now. It’s difficult for me to connect with people on a deep level. I finally found that person who made me feel safe, who I could laugh with, and open up to. We started slow with dating but over time it progressed to something serious and real. I know for a fact I had brought up a couple time the line of “when I have a family one day…”. He also mentioned how an ex of his wanted to be a stay at home mom - so I guess I just assumed he also wanted kids. It wasn’t until yesterday he said we needed to talk. He brought up that he heard me and a friend of his talking about kids and that with time he’s realized he doesn’t want children. I’m not someone who wants children right away.. and honestly sometime I question if I even want children at this point. But I would at least like to have the opportunity to make that decision one day. Once we had the discussion I looked at him and said “what now?” And he told me it was up to me. He told me he really likes being with me but he doesn’t want to take that away from me. So I said my goodbye to him there.
I understand this is partially my fault for assuming he wanted kids. But I can’t help but feel some anger towards him for not being upfront about it.
Aside from all of that, I just miss my best friend. I feel like someone has died in my life. We were together nearly everyday and I was so excited to continue growing and see where it could go.
We’re both in our early 30s and have been dating 4 months