Please be careful with responding, Im having anxiety and hoping someone could say something about the thoughts i keep having at night.
there is this thought that has been keeping me up at night for weeks now, I have been scared thinking about death. I suddenly feel chills in mybody whenever i get to think "what if i die suddenly, then what?". I understand that life goes on when someone dies. but to think thatit will happen to me someday, and perhaps its maybe because for the recent months i have encountered deaths of people i know and mostly similar to my age - 18 to 23 years old. I really get scared at night thinking that after i die, is it painful? or what happens after? i never thought about this before thats why it creeped me out. It gives me chills every night. The more i try to distract myself to think about happy thoughts- the more i keep remembering my what if, and it will keep me up at night then. I have bee avoiding drinking, i have been going back to the gym, i wanted to be healthy, but thinking i might die suddenly while being healthy is so scary that i dont know what to do anymore. I have a healthy relationship, i dont want to lose it. Im starting to have my family close together, Im about to graduate in collage. Or is it maybe because im scared to graduate because of my trauma that when i graduated from elementary, its when my little brother died? i dont know really. is it that?. I hope you can help me because i search up mental health services and its dissapointing that most of them have payments.
>Lol why i gotta be broke and mentally unstable.