Is he really into me or should I end it? I [38F] have been with my BF [39M] for 8 months
BF and I met on a dating app, we talked for about a month before we met in person. We have taken some things slow and I am not sure if I am projecting due to past trauma or if its valid. We never really had a defining conversation and he never asked me to be his girlfriend and I have honestly been okay with the way things are until recently. A few weeks ago we were driving and he made the statement, "I can't beleive we've been together for 8 months, it doesn't feel like its been that long. But I guess when you have the best girlfriend ever time flys." I just smiled and nodded but inside I was going crazy. I accepted our relationship as a situationship and left it at that. I assumed he was seeing other people, due to a few things. He would randomly cancel last minute due to being sick, happened quite a bit for a while and he would mention something "we had talked about" only it wasnt me he talk to about it. Or would ask me about something that wasnt something I told him. I assumed he was just trying to keep these different girls straight and messed up. It didn't bother me because we were dating/getting to know eachother and hadn't talked about being committed. I have not seen anyone else since we met, but I cant do multiple partners even if im not committed to any of them. So hearing he assumed we had been together this whole time threw me off. I don't have proof he has seen anyone else it's just a suspicion. He says he has not.
We message once a day and its generally something like
Him: Hey babe. How was your day?
Me: Hey my love. My day was good. How was yours?
Him: good.
And that's generally it. There's sometimes an I miss you and setting up plans for dates but that's it.
He's met my kids and he's great with them. And i met his kid as well.
We really don't have intimacy much. We've been intimate 5 times in 8 months and the first 4 was in the first 6 weeks and the last time was 2 months ago.
Neither of us have said I love you. In 8 months, I know he cares but nothing. I am headed over heals in love with him but I figured being there was no commitment talk I didnt want to scare him away by telling him I love him so I've just been waiting to say those words till he does. However I do call him my love, so I'm sure he knows that I love him.
We haven't met eachothers family.
He asked about moving in with me and then a few days later changed his mind, said he talked to his dad and his dad thinks he should wait. Which kind of hurt because I was really excited and thought that maybe he saw a future with me and then all of a sudden no.
He doesn't talk to me about much in his daily life and avoids me when hes stressed. I want this relationship but if it is a relationship I need it to function as one. And I dont know what to do.
I want to be his person and I want this to work. I know he was in a pretty rough marriage with a women who hated men and was angry and told him he's the problem all the time. Im sure that has a lot to do with how he approaches things. I just dont know how to approach this.