u/Careless-Rub-576

this is just a pathetic vent because i honestly dont know what else to do. ive been struggling really bad the past few months and i just feel like something completely shifted this last week to where i feel hopeless and so miserable, i have a pit in my stomach everyday and i try to tell myself it will get better and its just a phase but i dont think i can continue living in this endless loop anymore. i am so miserable. i failed both my classes this semester because of how depressed ive gotten, i recently got hired somewhere and start friday but im not exactly excited. i dont want to live, eat, sleep, or do anything. nothing brings me joy anymore and everything is just hurting me. i have no friends, im not close with anyone in my family. and my boyfriend is growing distant by the day, and i know its all my fault. its because i am like this that my life is this way and everyday i wake up and wish i could go back 5 years ago to maybe try to change my life in some way. i dont know what to do anymore. i gen want to die and i feel like a ticking time bomb. i dont have anyone to talk to this about, and everytime i talk aboyt how i feel i just feel so fucking embarssing. im just so sad.