Is it just me or is their fear of abandonment greater than their fear of commitment?
I (M40) have a BP2 (F48) partner. We fight as they all do, but I am feeling very unsettled. 6 years of history and our wedding is imminent, but also are the crazy making behaviours that seem to get more frequent in the lead up.
I have felt quite uneasy about this for a while.
She says she wants us to be forever, that she loves me more than anything and I am who she wants. She says she wants my surname. She says she wants us to be married and grow old. Everything on the surface shows she is invested in us.
But.
I get the feeling that maybe all fiction, all an act, that deep down she would rather me leave her but she has never said this. Like she cannot bring herself to say she needs me to leave, but I don't because she shows me convincingly she wants me to be with her.
If she asked me to leave her I simply would not fighting it. Because I love her.
Does this sound familiar? If so why? Financial stability? Loss of face? Scared of being alone? Wanting to be a victim and not the villain?
So confused because something doesn't feel right and weeks before we get hitched my instincts should be feeling much more certain and assured should they not?