Long story short, I was in a nearly 7 year relationship with my ex. She cheated on me and talked to other guys during that time. I was 1000% faithful. After we broke up, she reached out asking to borrow money, saying she had no one else to ask. I grew close to her kid and didn’t wanna see her lose everything so I let her borrow $2,500 and told her to pay me back when she could.
A few months went by, and I messaged her. She said she never responded because she was dating someone and didn’t want to disrespect her current boyfriend. Now it’s been nearly a year, and I messaged her asking about the loan. She said she thought I told her she could just keep it.
I pulled screenshots of texts saying “pay me back when you can” and messages of her promising to pay it back. She then said she would go over her bills and make a payment plan. I’ve messaged a few times since asking about the loan and haven’t gotten a response.
I don’t really need the money, but I’d rather give it to family than just let someone keep it after promising to repay me. I’ve got receipts from sending it through Zelle and all the text messages backing it up.
Would I be the asshole if I took her to small claims court? I know she’s likely still struggling with the same dead end job and mortgage/credit card payments she needed the money for. After a judgment, I would file to garnish her wages. After being with someone that long, I honestly feel kind of bad, but everyone close to me says I’m being an idiot for not filing.
Figured I’d see what you all had to say.
Edited with actual conversation:
Her:
I have a hard time asking for help, but I keep hearing the phrase “a closed mouth doesn’t get fed” over the last couple months in particular. You literally are the only one I can even ask. If you say no, I completely get it. However, lol, I’m in such a bad spot. I didn’t pay things last month because I lost my job and I had nothing to fall back on. Things are gonna get cut off, I don’t even get paid for like three weeks, and I tried to get assistance and nothing. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ I have an appointment with the CAC the day before my electric is gonna get cut. Lol. My phone, my car. The only thing I paid was the mortgage. Not a long enough gap and I made too much, which is stupid. I will pay you back, it will just take me a couple months. Like I’ll make payments to you. Lol. Ugh, I hate even thinking about having to ask. I don’t want to lose everything tho so I figured I’d ask. And I’m so sorry I am asking. I won’t let myself get here again.
You:
How much you need
Her:
If I also pay my mortgage, like 2500. If I just pay other things 1300 should cover my car, phone, some food and the utilities I need to pay. I have no money. 🤦♀️ I used [redacted] paycheck to get us by a lil. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Her:
I realize… I don’t know how to make money other than being a corporate slave. And realizing this like broke me down a lil.
Her:
Like. I’m not as resourceful as I thought I was maybe.
Her:
But shit even if you only have a couple hundred it would help me so much. Lol. I had no choice but to let it happen the way it did. Idk what to do.
You:
You know you like my best friend just cause you don’t wanna be with me like that I ain’t trippin
Her:
🥺 thank you
Her:
Yeah you are like my best friend lol
You:
Pay back when you can I’m not stressing at all
Her:
😭
Her:
Ok
Her:
But ima pay you back
Her:
😭😭😭 Omg thank you
You:
You’re welcome
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About your “pay when you can” line
This is the only nuance, but it still works in your favor:
• It does NOT make it a gift
• It just means there wasn’t a strict deadline
• Under Ohio law, that becomes a “reasonable time to repay”
👉 Almost a year later = easily considered unreasonable delay