I (M28) have been with my boyfriend (M29) for 10 years. When we started, I was a management student and he already had his own company. I was impressed, so I helped him a lot with his marketing for free.
Now, I have my own career as a manager in a non-profit. But the problem is that every night, he asks for my help with his HR and management stuff. I’m tired and I don’t want to work a "second shift" at home, but I try to help. But every time I disagree with him, he gets mad. He tells me I don’t understand business because I’m "just a manager for a non-profit." It hurts because I’m actually trying to help him.
He just started a new business and now he does nothing at home. No cleaning, no cooking, he leaves dirty dishes everywhere like I am his servant. He says he has "no time" and it’s for "our future."
But the truth is, I’m living his dream, not mine. He wanted a big house, but I wanted a small apartment in the city with no maintenance. He judges me because I like to walk or take the bus. He doesn't understand why I’m unhappy in a residential suburb where you need a car for everything.
I feel like our values are not the same anymore. I don’t know how to talk to him about this. I’m also scared to leave because of my dog, she barks a lot and it’s very hard to find a landlord who accepts dogs like mine.
I feel stuck. Has anyone been in a situation like this? How do you talk to someone who thinks their job is more important than yours?