I (25F) feel weird about my bf (26M) going to a bar alone. This is strictly alone, not with friends.
My bf and I have been dating for 4 years. 2 in college. He got a job first and brought us to a kinda college-ish town but kinda isolated. We live together. He hasn’t bothered to make any guy friends. I’ve made all of our friends and even still, we hangout with them like once every other week or so. He was a drunk in college but who wasn’t. The first year he still kept up with the drinking but at home. Now he likes to go to the bar alone. He came home the other night at 2am. I just don’t understand. I feel like it’s one thing to go to the bar without your SO, but WITH friends. I feel like men in relationships don’t go to bars alone or maybe shouldn’t, but that seems to be an unpopular opinion. I just see it as something guys in relationships don’t do. Also note, he’ll go alone when I have plans with friends or after a fight. Maybe that’s my issue, there’s a lot of times when he goes when we’re not on good terms. Why can’t he just get space in the house or step out for air? But for going alone when I have plans, why not just make friends? He doesn’t even bother to get other guys numbers. The bar he goes to mostly is like a 1-3 min drive from our place. He drove home drunk the other night and ran over something popping 2 tires. He needed to sleep so handled the entire thing and he paid. I feel like it’s one thing to have differing views and that’s alright, but maybe it’s an indicator in our relationship that we aren’t compatible. Is this all normal guy stuff? Maybe he has some slight depression and anger processing issues too? This is just one snapshot of our relationship, but there’s a lot of things I think we both put up with with each other. I feel like I’ve just been convinced that this is how things are. Are relationships and loving someone supposed to be easy? Or maybe just not this hard?