u/Careful-Coffee-9811

▲ 11 r/AITAH

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Im a 33m and im recently engaged to my gf of two years, she has 2 kids from a previous relationship they are 14 & 10 year old girls. The oldest i will call Desi, and the youngest Lollie.

The kids dad bailed on them. 9 years ago and he has nothing to do with them and my gf been raising them alone (with some support from her family). She is amazing when Desi was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes she got a 2nd job just to be able to afford medication and the x has never paid child support. When we moved in together i asked her to let me help pay for more stuff (i have a good job so its ok). She still insists any bills to do with the kids she pays 100% everything else is 50/50.

I love spending time with the girls and i even did a special first aid course at the hospital so i could learn how to care for Desi if she needs it. One of the many hard parts is diabetics have little to no Immune system so if someone gets a cold or flu in the house and she gets it, it can get really bad really fast.

Ok so me and my mates have always had a minor tradition that regardless of situation we would make time one weekend every six months for just us guys, we plan and set it on the calendar a couple months before for work and family reasons. Usually its hanging at my best mates family lake house, there lots of drinking and we usually turn our phones off with the exception of one time and that was because another of my friends was about to be a dad.

As we got older we have allowed for some exceptions but mot alot. So we had our weekend all planned for this weekend, no problems at all, that is until Lollie tested postive for hooping cough, my gf said it ok for me to go still for the weekend and then i can avoid getting sick! Then i noticed Desi also wasn't feeling ok so i texted the group chat apologising but im not going anymore. The way i see it we gonna have two sick kids son our hands, and worse if Desi gets worse she may need to be rushed to hospital, i dont wanna leave my gf and the kids in the situation.

Most my friends are supportive of my situation and the ones with kids said they proud of me! However there 2 of our mates who have flown up ( south island nz to north island nz) for this guys weekend and they disappointed i blown off this weekend, im still very new to this whole step dad territory, i wanna show and be a good dad figure for the girls, supportive partner to my fiancee but i dont wanna let anyone down.

So AITAH??

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u/Careful-Coffee-9811 — 9 days ago
▲ 172 r/AITAH

Heya so no good at this so bare with me( 33m) and my fiancee (33f) il just call her fefe have been together 2 years, we were friends in high school but never dated she then met someone right after high school grad and they were together 6 years and had 2 kids together. We reconnected through online dating site and immediately connected, I love her very much and her 2 girls.

Her ex is out of the picture and he has no interest in being in his kids lives, they had been seperated for 4 years when we got together. His family especially his 2 younger brothers really stepped up to be there for Fefe and the girls and she really values them and still calls them her family. Oh and i dont know if its relavent but her ex and his family are pacific islanders just saying.

I get along really well with x in laws and they have really made me feel welcome and included which is great.

So to the main point this last weekend i planned a bbq for my direct family (mum dad, 3 siblings plus their spouses and kids) and her family (mum, step dad, sister, her husband and their 7 kids) plus Fefes 2 best friends and their partners and my best mate needless to say we had a full house. After everyone had finished eating i got everyones attention and in front of everyone i got down on one knee and proposed.

I was so happy she said yes!! I even got the girls special charm bracelets as a token of my love for them. Everyone was happy for us. The next day was the issue when the photos went up on social media and the x in laws saw them and their friends, there was alot of snippy comments about the lack of inclusion and how they should be prepared to be pushed out now, when Fefe saw the comments it made her cry since that the last thing she would ever do!

I am really at a loss on how to fix the situation there alot of anger and hurt feelings when all i want is to enjoy this moment so please help AITAH??

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u/Careful-Coffee-9811 — 16 days ago