I [25F] really want to bring this up because it's been bothering me for months, and I certainly do not want to live like this, but I don't know what's the best way to say this for the best outcome.
When we started dating (1 year ago), he [25M] was matching my level of horny I would say - by the things he was not only doing, but also saying. This was gone a few weeks later.
Since we have a long distance relationship (LDR), I imagine that when we finally meet, he would want to jump into sex the same day. Sometimes we do, sometimes we do it like 2 days later. I could do it everyday at least once, even he said it at some point, but that is never happening atp. Same goes for sex over the phone or dirty texts - it was regular in the first weeks of our relationship, but now I see he never texts me anything dirty/sexy. I decided to not text him these things anymore, not just because he never does, but also because his responses are ...without much interest seemingly, dry. Same goes for sex initiation - I simply don't do it as much as I feel like.
This is one problem - the dullness in overall sex life. The second problem is: when we do it, he does himself and that's it. Although I enjoy sex as it is, It feels very off that he never mentions or tries to make me climax. He does not even go down on me, he did it like five times in total - on the other hand, he loves when I go down on him. When we do it, he says how he missed it, and he's enjoying it, but the fact he just pleases himself without ever caring about me is baffling. I can't imagine being a man and doing this, it feels selfish af.
I hate that I have to bring this up, he is a grown man who had long relationships before me. Apart from this he is very caring and treats me good enough. I am certain he loves me. And there is no chance another woman could be in it. The fact he already showed me he is capable of doing things that match me, and now it's gone, makes me wonder what's behind it and why is he not as horny anymore.
I know I have to discuss this with him. First of all, I think I want to do it eye-to-eye, not on the phone, and next, I don't know how to address it in the best way so it does not sound like complaining and might make him actually realize that. I will be grateful for any suggestions.