I (19M) spent my entire spring semester seeing a girl (19M). We saw each other 1–2 times a week consistently, went on a few dates, and were very public with hand-holding and PDA at parties and in public. Because she told me early on she "doesn't do hookups," I agreed with her, thus I assumed we were on the same page about dating seriously. But that can mean different things to people.
After about 2.5 months of consistently seeing each other, I invited her to a formal event in Chicago (not where we go to school). We went together as a couple, and the weekend was great. Because of how well things were going and because we were very public with PDA and hand-holding, my friends and hers were even asking, "Hey, is she your girlfriend?"
Based on that "vibe," I decided to ask her if she wanted a serious relationship after we got back. I didn't want to string her along or leave things unlabeled if I thought we were clearly heading somewhere.
She said no. She told me she felt the whole thing was "casual" and didn't think I actually liked her for more than physical reasons. This hit me hard because I don't "hook up" with people personally; I wouldn't spend time with someone if I didn't genuinely like them as a whole person. Even though I told her multiple times that I liked her and expressed genuine interest in her life as a whole, i.e., helping out with homework, talking about family and future plans, etc. But she felt our "foundation" was weak.
I thought taking someone to a formal in a different city and being exclusive all semester was a clear signal of intent on my part, but there was area for improvement, don't get me wrong.
I’m left feeling like I failed to communicate my goals properly, which is an area for improvement for me personally.
Things ended fine overall between us. Looking back, I see where she is coming from and understand her pov, but also think she knew that I really liked her. Dating is such a shit show now.
What would it look like were serious? aworth revisiting things later after the summer? Also, how do y'all do fun dates as a broke college student in the Midwest?