u/Capital-Plan-8998

Shit is hitting the fan.

I wish we could go back to simpler times when our house was a bungalow with two mango trees in the backyard.

When our sala was filled with hardbound law school books and we were taking turns in using our typewriter.

Our vacations are in simple beach resorts in the South, and we were mostly contented with barbecue and coke for dinner.

We rejoiced holidays and took advantage of discounts. We held our dreams to our hearts and knew that we may have felt small but we were among the people.

No one held office, all were humble employees and regular citizens. We talked about politics as spectators, not peers. The most power we've held was us kids exhibiting our academic excellence in school.

It's almost astounding how we all eventually held power in the background, despite not being as prominent as the current families we see on TV.

How ironic that we thought our power lies in being unremarkable, how our collective decision shaped our country without anyone knowing.

And it is indeed ironic because as much as we had gotten far not needing the gratitude of people in the contributions we made, I am left to sit in the quietest downfall of power in the history of our family.

No one to rally for us, no one to defend us; even those who greatly benefited from us, just us left to face the consequences of our actions.

SKL kasi narealize ko to after 3 years of celibacy. I was also in hookup culture after a life-changing pandemic and I weighed more than 100k at that time. In short, gasul variant din ako noon.

I didn't intend it during those times but it rlly was a source of validation for me, I unknowingly thought na kahit mataba ako, appealing padin ako kasi someone's willing to sleep with me. Boy i was wrong, as much as I held contempt for the entitlement of the boys I was sleeping with, ngayon I realized na they felt the same for how I looked too.

So fast forward to today: may self reflection ako habang nagtu toothbrush ako; I've been celibate since 2023, weighing a little over 70kg, a respected person in our office, and I can confidently say nakapang basted na ako ng mga mas gwapo at established, kaysa sa mga naka-hook up ko. May doctor, may diplomat, may tatay pa nga ng kaklase ko noon, but I didn't consider it a win, for me the win in that aspect was how I didn't feel the need to grab every opportunity to prove I had an "upgrade", how I stayed with myself kahit promising yung guy pag meron talagang misalignment.

Tapos kind realization nalang, sabi ko sa sarili ko "siguro kung dito ko mami-meet sa buhay ko ngayon yung mga naka hookup ko, di nila kayang manligaw or even mag approach sa akin... And yet, they treated me so badly then" and when I finished prepping for work, nung papunta ako ng office, I checked my photos during that time.

Ang taba, ang stressed, ang losyang. To think I was 24 then. Sabi ko loaded talaga ako ng cortisol, and I realized that hooking up through reddit or bumble was my form of self-harm. It was unhygienic, and was putting me through very stressful situations (alam niyo yan, di lang hookup yan. Lalaruin at gagaguhin ka talaga kahit may strong boundaries kang NSA). Susunduin ka sa bahay niyo tapos uuwi ka ng wala man lang pinakain sayo maliban sa oten? And i let it happen??? Ang dehumanizing. Lol. And I can't blame them, neither does myself.

Iba ang dopamine hits namin noon. Ako sa self-worth ko, iniisip ko maganda lang ako pag may makakita at tumanggap ng kapangitan ng katawan ko. Yung boys? Win na nilang may babaeng nagkakandarapa at naloloka sa presence and mediocrity nila. Kaya talagang naging gasul built si ate niyo.

Girls, I wont imply anything na maga add pa sa self-hatred and resentment niyo if nasa hookup phase padin kayo. Ang akin lang, I hope we all reach a point in time na mag decenter tayo sa shallow dopamines, and quick fixes. There's more to life than hooking up or situationships, I hope you get to reach a point of seeing your healthiest and greatest version and keep that version to yourself.

Yun lang. I love you. Mwa.

[EDIT: I think I forgot to mention how big of a factor the stress from it was because I came back to my healthy weight without any weight loss program. No ozempic, just my regular workouts that I have been doing since 2020, same 3 meals a day. I didn't fact-check with science YET but so far, staying celibate and away from the stress of hookup culture was significantly something I did differently through that time span. And thank you for the kind words. Love u all]

Idk if this will be posted but yea, sharing it for my other nagbabalik sa buhay digital peeps out there.

So the last time I worked as a VA was a year ago, then I transitioned to working again locally. So imagine the jump from 45-70k then back to 15k... Ang lala diba?

I immediately looked for another VA job after I secured this local job last yr. But this Jan 2026, I just became too frustrated and gave up trying to escape poverty and focused on my current work. Still, debts were stacking, still adjusting sa lifestyle change, and there were also moments of resentment sa buhay and income ko. Not to mention, nagbabago talaga sociological placement mo pag bigla kang naging mahirap.

This month, out of nowhere, I just remembered how mag one year na ako by June na wala sa buhay digital, and one year na akong... mahirap at baon sa utang. Hahahaha. Then I prayed kay Lord, sabi ko lang "Lord tulungan mo ako mabayaran yung mga utang ko". I even posted the same prayer on threads 5 days ago.

Wala akong gagawin sa kakarampot na sweldo ko kundi bayaran lahat ng utang ko. Yesterday, I took a big move to allot about most of my monthly salary para bayaran yung jewelry kong naka pawn. It wasn't much of a difference compared sa presyo ng sangla parang 10% lang nabayaran ko but I still followed through with my goal.

So this Sunday, out of nowhere, mej informal pa nga yung exchange namin, para lang kaming nagtetext but I landed an interview with a manager and GOT THE JOB right away. It's as if they were looking exactly for my skill set, start na ako bukas. (baka isipin niyo scam, hindi haha talagang mas magaan lang yung hiring process pag client and startups talaga)

So ayun... Grabe. I made an unselfish wish, and it came true. I can't believe I'm already saying this pero... ✨JOB DUST FOR EVERYONE✨

Idk how this relates to buhay digital tbh. But... I wish there's someone out there na magkaroon ulit ng hope after a life-changing loss. Let's do better na talaga sa finances natin, this time, magtira para sa emergency.

Siguro kung itutuloy ko pa tong post ko magiging advocate na ako ng savings, emergency funds, insurance, at mindful financial decisions, pero that's a topic for next time. Ngayon, pasalamat ko lang talagang buhay digital na ulit ako.