I (27M) am feeling incredibly conflicted about what happened tonight and need some outside perspective.
Today was my brother’s birthday. My fiancée has been struggling lately because she’s been trying to find the right anti-depressant medication. She’s been unmedicated for a couple of days now while transitioning, and it’s been a rough road with negative side effects and emotional instability.
We went to my mom’s place to celebrate with my brother, his partner, and his kids. We had a great time. Because it was a celebration, my brother and I did some drinking. I’ll be honest: I have had issues managing my drinking in the past. While I’ve been doing much better and have it more under control than I used to, I know it’s still a work in progress for me.
The tension started as soon as we got home. She was upset that she had to be the one to drive us back. It felt like she was ready to pick a fight. I tried to ask her why she was feeling the way she was, but she shut down and started acting like the victim. For context, she hasn’t had a job in about two years. I’ve been the primary provider, and while things have been tight and we've relied on family and local aid, I’ve supported us. I think the pressure of that dynamic has been building up on her.
Tonight, things escalated and she got physical with me two or three times. Then, she just disappeared for 20 minutes. I was extremely worried about her safety. I told her if she needed space, she could go to the second bedroom or I would go to the main bedroom, or she could go to a friend's.
We eventually called a friend to come over and help de-escalate. My fiancée decided she needed to pack some things to leave. I started grabbing her clothes and putting them in a bag to help, but she wasn’t satisfied with what I was picking out and started doing it herself. At that point, I told her that if she was truly walking out, our relationship was likely over.
This isn't the first time we've had these issues. About a year and a half ago, she ended up in a mental health ward after getting physical with me because it was uncertain if she was going to harm me or herself. We had been on a really good streak since then, but tonight everything broke down.
I ended up calling the police because I was genuinely concerned for her safety and didn't know what else to do given her history and her current mental state.
So, Reddit, AITA for calling the cops on my fiancée?