My GF (29F) and I (31M) have been together for just over two years. From when we started dating to around the 8-10 month mark we had an amazing sex life. I could initiate, she would initiate, making out for no reason, etc.
After about 1 year, that’s all gone. She no longer initiates and I get rejected 95% of the time. We are intimate at the absolute max once a week, and it’s not as enjoyable. She doesn’t want foreplay, she doesn’t want to change positions, and she doesn’t want cuddling/holding each other afterwards as much. She really enjoys it when we do and always says how good I am at satisfying her, but it feels like the once-a-week scheduled sex where we both just get off and not a deep intimate moment between partners.
I love and care for her so I’ve tried talking about it and how important it is and she will say that she feels like “sex is all I care about”, “it’s normal for things to slow down” and “it’s not unusual for that to happen when we live together as opposed to the beginning when we were only seeing each other a few times a week”. I told her I don’t believe that’s universally true and my desire for her has only gone up since we’ve lived together. I could tell she was getting frustrated the other night having this conversation and she said “we have our whole lives together to be intimate, I don’t want to burn the candle too quickly”. So my partner is rationing intimacy and affection with me?
This is a woman who has had a much more promiscuous past than I did when we were younger; which on its own isn’t a dealbreaker but combined with the fact that she doesn’t seem to view physical connection with me, the committed partner that loves and shows up for her everyday, as important anymore really hurts.