I believe my husband went into a psychosis or rage event after discovering messages from another man on my phone. Instead of confronting me about it, he forced himself on me while I was sleeping in bed with our child. Then spent two days playing out weird sexual situations. I knew something was up with this behavior and felt unsafe to reject him.
You finally admitted to discovering the sexting 3 days after the initial assault. I told him I felt assaulted, he immediately went on a smear campaign to my family, specifically my dad and told him every detail about the situation, every deep dark secret, and tried to convince my dad that I was an addict and absent mother.
I told him he made me feel unsafe, asked him to leave and stay with his family on certain days I felt watched by him and overwhelmed. He kept insisting that we talk it out and try to repair but for weeks he would keep me awake until early morning having circular discussions that were completely exhausting and unproductive.
With my family support, I filed a police report about a week after the assault. The officer completely messed up my contact information and name, no one ever reached out regarding the report. A few months went by, I made him sleep in a separate room and locked myself in my bedroom with our child. I was trying to have as minimal interaction as I could with him because every discussion escalated into a heated argument, eventually he escalated to screaming, throwing things across the room and slamming things in front of our child.
I was granted a restraining order that did not include the name of my child. I’ve been 50-50 coparenting with him and he’s continued to abuse me using our child as a conduit. He has put photos of us taken prior to having our son inside of his backpack and lunchbox for me to find. As well as parental alienation tactics, undermining all of our previously established parenting standards, and using the court app to covertly and subtly continue the smear campaign in message documentation.
I become well aware that the American court system does not safely protect victims and children. I’m weighing the pros and cons of trying to file criminal charges for the assault. I was hesitant in doing so at the time because I didn’t want to deprive my son of a father or jeopardize the life of my son‘s father, and it made me undermine my own safety and self-worth. But witnessing the continued abuse, makes it clear that he is not concerned about my well-being or the well-being of his child.