CONTEXT
My bestfriend and I are freshman in highschool (15 y/o girls) and have been super close since 7th grade. her brother is a sophomore (almost 17 y/o boy). ive known her brother for a long time but only in late summer 2025 did I start to have feelings.
EARLY FALL 2025
I was afraid to tell my friend, so I kept it from her for awhile while dropping small hints at having a crush on her brother. I'm very well aware i should've just told her, but I was afraid of losing her and I wanted to see if I could try and lose feelings for her brother. I had beat myself up about it for months, feeling terrible for my best friend and wondering why I couldn't lose feelings for him. In October 2025, she saw a tiktok I had reposted hinting at having a secret crush. She immediately guessed it was her brother after I wouldn't say who it was, and told me it was okay. I told her that I really didn't want to lose her as a friend and I would never end up choosing him over her. I let her know that I would try to lose feelings for him, but there was a chance it wouldn't happen. She seemed okay with the idea after a few weeks, which gave me the thought that everything was okay. At this point, we had been subtly flirting in school, but nothing had actually happened.
FIRST DATE
In January 2026, I was at her house when suddenly my two friends that are dating texted my crush and I in a groupchat we have (both sophomores, and one of them is my crushes bestfriend). They invited us on a double date. I looked at my friend first for approval, and I told her that I wouldn't feel hurt if she wasn't okay with it and id totally understand. She said it was fine and even urged me to text them back to say I could go when I was nervous to respond. After this date, her brother and I continued to go on four more up until now. We have been hanging out alot in and out of school and I really like him.
BOUNDARIES
Of course, we've created boundaries with eachother and I explained that if im over at his house for his sister, than we are not going to hang out, vice versa. I told him that we had to be extra careful because I wasn't interested in losing my bestfriend over a relationship. He's very respectful about me and his sister's friendship, and makes sure to respect both of our feelings. I do the same for his boundaries. We're not officially dating because I can't drive yet, and we both agreed to taking things slow. It's very public to everyone that we like eachother, and that we will likely be together soon.
THE DOWNFALL
Recently, my bestfriend has been showing rebellious signs, such as hanging out alone with her ex-boyfriend that sexually assaulted her (and he has a new girlfriend now who knows that bestfriend likes her boyfriend), sneaking out, hanging out with the wrong crowd, making rude comments to me specifically and dressing rougher. I'm not one to be against different styles, I'm just pointing it out for the fact of saying that it was sudden. This Tuesday, she was going around telling everyone that me and my 'boyfriend' are related. This sounds absolutely stupid to say, but we are technically 5th cousins once removed BY MARRIAGE. She is implying that we are directly related. I told her to stop spreading rumors, and I was tired of her just being rude to me and talking behind my back instead of just telling me she was upset with me.
CONCLUSION
I know how sensitive of a subject me and her brother are, but I just wish she would've said something sooner if she truly wasnt okay with it. I told her at the very beginning that it was very much possible that we could get together, and I wanted to make sure that it was okay if that was the outcome. I can't just leave my boyfriend now, because I found that I really like him. She's telling all of my friends that I'm choosing my boyfriend over her, and that I ended our friendship so that I could be with him. He says that she's been getting in trouble more at home and he isnt sure what to do about it. I really loved her friendship in its peak, im just unsure if it'll still work out if she's going to be socially immature. Her and I haven't talked since our recent argument on Tuesday.