u/Calm-Difference-3739

So throughout my life I’ve been apart of many friend groups, and I was the small kid that was easy to push around and I had trouble sticking up for myself because I didn’t know how to defend myself and was scared of loosing a fight if it got to that point. Ive always been an attractive person and I knew how to dress and look presentable and I feel like it attracted a lot of envy from friends or even people that I have worked with or met on a random occasion.

There’s been people in my life in every environment that I have been involved in that always made slick comments towards me or tried to belittle me and even gathered other groups of people to try to throw dirt on my name and try to make me feel like I’m not allowed to shine or have my moments.

I try my best to stay calm even thought what they said wasn’t a joke even if they made it seem that way because I know that I also can have a slick mouth and the minute I say something back they play victim or it can lead to a physical altercation

I believe there’s something about me that just triggers this insecurity in some people that is just completely unnecessary. I don’t know if it’s cs I just look soft or again I’m a smaller guy “5’7” that looks attractive or maybe just from my vibe in general. Ive also been trying to gain weight as-well.

At this point of my life I am taking martial arts classes so I can learn how to defend myself from these people cs I’m tired of people thinking they can treat me a certain way. I no longer go out of my way to make friend with other guys unless they seem genuine and don’t give “envious” vibes or make slick comments to try to humble me and disguise it as a joke.

If anyone has an explanation for this life long phenomenon and how my chart can correlate I would love to hear your explanation, and how I should move forward and any advice on how to go about this type of situation. Thx!