u/Calm-Championship405

Last night I was kinda sad about something so i chugged like 2 big chocolate juice box and an ice cream. I forgot I was lactose intolerant so I finished all of them. After i guess 2 hours I vomited it all and it was a lot. And 10 hours has passed and l'm still vomiting even though I havent eaten anything. I'm alsc pooping a lot so idk. My tummy has been hurting ever since I woke up.

Edit: heres a timeline 10pm - drank two large box of chocolate milk 12pm - puked 1 am- slept 5am~8pm(now) - tummy hurting and puking and pooping small amounts and I sleep the pain away. Puked like 4 times and pooped 3 timesToT

We've been friends for almost 5 years and it's been good. I was never attracted to him at first but as time passed, holy crap I may like this friend of mine. But its kinda weird for me to like him right?

I mean at first we were in a group of friend and classmates. He also got into a relationship with my old bestfriend (she was a little problematic so he left her but in my case she left me because who knows what but yeah she was really hard to handle. And this was also like 4 years ago)

During 10th grade I sorta had this small crush on him but I stopped because I thought I was stupid so I just continued on being his friend.

We also dated different people during high school. I dated a girl for a year but we didn't worked out. He got a fling that also didn't worked out.(idk how many flings he got since he doesnt really talk about it)

During this summer we hanged out a lot together with our other friends. I say we're pretty chill with each other.

But I really want to like him. In a romantic way. And theres this thing thats stopping me. I want to express to him that I like him and such. But like---- it feels so weird. And it kinda hurts that I think I can't like him romantically.

I get these day dreams and delusions that what if we dated or what would we look like in tge next 10 years. I don't want to say that i love him. But I really do.

I dunno maybe im scared that I might get rejected. Maybe its weird because back then I supported all of his flings and it ended up being me who actually likes him. Maybe because I just want us to be friends and never go further. Or maybe im just being delusional again. Reading too much romantic mangas and thursting for love.

We're off to college in a few months and I know damn well we wont be seeing each other more often. I want to love him. And it kinda hurts that I see him with another girl. I wan't to be by his side more often and if not I just want us to be closer.

I'm not gonna lie but if I were to be with him I want it to last forever. I want to grow old with him. But we also have different goals. I want to run away and adopt pets and never have children and be different. And he wants a normal family... He wants a nice polite girl. He wants children of his own, he wants his parents to see his own children, he wants to stay wherever he's comfortable. And I dont want to disturb that dream of his. I also dont want my dreams to change. Idk Im not planning to confess my feelings or anything. I just want to get this weird feeling off my chest. And if you've read this far, thanks I really want to be heard about this even just for a bit.