My friend is in an abusive relationship, she doesn't want to leave, what can I do?
I don't know how to start off or where to start so I'm just gonna dive right in.
I have this friend. We became friends a little over a year ago through our kids who wanted to play with each other, they're soon 6 and 5 years old. Straight off I started getting warning signals about her guy (not the kids father), he's not really involved and whenever she would bring up fights they had, she always ended it with "I know he sounds horrible but he's really nice, I swear" but each time just got worse and worse and I could tell she didn't give me the whole truth for a good amount of time.
In december of last year, she started telling me more, and I poked a little more and I got more information out of her and my warning signals had been right the entire time. Hes not physically abusing her, but isolating her, pushing her down mentally, making her feel like crap, controlling her and keeps threatening her that he'll kick her and her son out as soon as she talks back or stands her ground. (They're both on the lease).
In January, she came home to me at 11pm crying because he's been really nasty that specific night. We decided that we were gonna go to the Social services the day after, and we did. She wanted me to come with, and I was there during the entire conversation that first day. They ended up pulling in CPS too because he son lives with her 100% of the time.
At that time, she said she wanted out, but didn't have a place to stay (she unfortunately can't stay at mines either). She was adamant.
She doesn't want the police involved, and can't seem to call them herself, so we even changed the quick reaction on messenger as a code so that I instead can call the cops if she sends it to me.
Fast forward to now, she's still with him. CPS didn't do anything except talk with school, her, her guy and the father of the son, so they decided to call off the investigation. She told me that Social services didn't think she was in need of any help (which I don't believe), and they don't either have any type of contact anymore.
Friday last week, she told me he had taken the internet, remotes and speakers for the TV because they had an argument. She told him to leave the apartment and he threatened her for the first time to hit her in front of her son. When he left, she called another friend who came and got them and as they were leaving he texted her "I hope you know I would never do that to you, It's not me". She thought she had the upper hand and were giving him guilty feelings, when in fact he was losing control. So to gain control again, he blocked her everywhere and she ended up going back Saturday night.
Now, I need help to navigate in this. I've never been in an abusive relationship like that, my warning signals are screaming at me and she doesn't leave and doesn't want to but at the same time.. wants to.
It's affecting my life now and I don't know what to do. Do you have any ideas on what I can do? I'm not feeling safe in my apartment anymore especially not with my son living here either. Can I even do anything to help her leave? Or should I instead back away?