For some context: I (18F) suffer with diagnosed mental health issues that have caused me to hallucinate often and experience intense paranoia because of it. These hallucinations usually consist of sounds and most importantly, a shadow figure that has consistently made my life insufferable when it shows up, causing panic attacks, constant paranoia, and insomnia.
My parents have a hard time understanding these hallucinations and are not great at comforting me, so I confide in my aunt because she also has similar problems and she’s more understanding.
I went to my aunts house to talk about this and my younger sister (14F) insisted she come. I told her I didn’t want her to come because I was trying to talk to my aunt but my mother stepped in and told me to let her come. I was in the middle of a conversation with my aunt talking about these hallucinations when me and my aunt realized my sister was standing right behind us, just listening to our conversation. She didn’t say anything or make it clear she was there.
My sister went home about 5-10 minutes later and I stayed at my aunts house to talk. She called me about 20-30 mins after she went home and was crying saying she saw what I see all the time; the exact shadow figure, in the exact hallway of our house, and described it in the exact way I always describe it: “A tall shadow figure with no distinct facial features”. I comforted her in the moment.
My sister doesn’t know what the word distinct means in this context.
My mother told me the next day I can’t talk about my hallucinations anymore if she’s present at all and claimed that my private conversation with my aunt scared her and made her anxiety “manifest” the hallucination. I am upset that I now have to censor what I talk about in front of her, even if I go to my aunts house when that is my safe zone.
I said she was lying about it and doing it for my mother’s attention because my sister has always been jealous of our mother giving me sole attention in any circumstance. My mother said I was “out of pocket” for saying that. My mother doesn’t agree and believes I am being selfish in that sense.
The fact she doesn’t know what the word distinct means in this context, the fact that she never saw this shadow figure I’ve described before when she’s heard me talk about it many times but now she suddenly did even though she’s always had severe anxiety, the fact she saw my exact hallucination in the same exact place, and never made it clear that she was uncomfortable to me or my parents just doesn’t add up to me. But my mother keeps shrugging these facts off, just summing it up to “you scared her and she hallucinated because of her anxiety” and “you should’ve known better”.
Although she does have severe anxiety and I know that for a fact, I don’t believe me calling her a liar was out of pocket or selfish in this situation. AITA?
Side note: My mother does all she can to help me, I don’t blame her for not being able to fully understand.