u/CaliforniaDreemin2

I am DONE playing magic. Any card game for that matter. They're nothing but trouble, and not worth the cost or time. I type this now as I lay in the uncomfortable hospital bed, one hand bandaged and body black n’ blue.

I just want to sleep, but the nurses checking in every two hours and the police saying I need to write down everything I remember for the record makes it a little impossible. Jesus Christ where do I start.

I've been a pretty big magic player since highschool, I like the mechanics I like the art, and I liked the story. Well until they started shoving in spider man and assassins creed. Seriously? New York is not a plane. Anyway, I've dabbled in other tcgs like pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh, but yugioh players are too unwashed to be around and scalpers have ruined Pokemon for anyone who wants to actually play the game, but magic still had that sweet spot you can get comfortable in.

So it was a Friday afternoon and secrets of strixhaven just dropped. I went with my friends Alan, and Joshua. God Joshua. It's all still fresh. I'm so fucking sorry.

They're a- they were a couple, and my closest friends on this earth.

I left my apartment early to scoop them up because the set was hot and new and I really wanted to get to our preferred lgs ‘Dane’s cards & Comics’ in time to still pick up one of the new commander decks. There's a couple others in town, but they’re play areas aren't as nice. The chairs at ‘dcc’ aren't nearly as cracked and strained as some of the others. As always I was waiting outside their building while Alan took his sweet time to get ready. I honked a couple times, daudled on my phone a little and waited what felt like days.

I already text them both and called josh.

“Hello?” Joshua answered unbothered.

“You guys ready yet? I don't want them to sell out before we can make it.” I said, only a little bit ancy.

“haha chill bitch, I'm all good. Alan's finishing up. You know his complex.”

“I know I know. ‘gotta be the most fuckable person at the shop’. “ I made air quotes for no one at this.

“You know you're welcome to come inside. I can put hammie in the other room so you're not sneezing to death.”

“Nah I'm good. I didn't bring any Benadryl with me this time. Your cat can continue to hold his freedom. Just hurry up clocksa tickin’”

“God these straights are always in a hurry.” I heard Alan joke through the receiver.

“We're grabbing our bag and walking out now. See ya in a sec.”

“Alright see you guys.”

Few minutes later they came out of the apartment building and we were rolling off.

“Which are you thinking of getting Jess? I think silverquil looks pretty nifty, but you know I can never stray from my green black.”

“I don't know man, I'm thinking I want to try the prismari or lorehold, but it kinda really depends on if they have anything left.”

“Fair, hell if you're lucky maybe Geoffrey might have one you can slide off him.”

“Ugh don't even start with that creep.” I shudder a little, thinking about him. He was a well known “collector” or more clearly a horrible smelling little scalper chode who doesn't even play anything, he just buys product and prowls around the shops trying to make a quick buck.

“If they're sold out and the greater area is sold out then maybe, MAYBE I'll consider, but there's gotta be a mitten warning in hell first.”

We all chuckled at that and soon enough we made it to the strip mall and tried to find parking. It Looked especially busy for the afternoon but there's a lot of other businesses there at the corner of sisk and pelandale.

We parked closer to the taco bell than dcc because that's most likely where our night would end, and we headed in.

The shop was an average amount of busy for a Friday afternoon, but it would pick up and get crowded once the drafts started in a few hours. Joshua went to browse a couple comics while Alan and I headed straight to the magic counter. I couldn't see if there was anything left behind the double wide clerk as we walked up. He was carrying a big box of something and greeted us.

“Hey there, just let me know if you folks need anything.”

He set the box aside and rested both hands on the glass topped counter.

“Please please tell me you guys still have some of the strixhaven precons.” I asked half pleading.

He gritted his yellowed teeth and pulled a sharp inhale through them.

“Yeesh I'm sorry guys, they sold out pretty quick. Like as soon as we opened quick.”

“Fuck, alright thanks anyway man.” Alan responded.

“We got plenty of the ninja turtle precons left! If that interests you guys.” Alan and I both looked at each other trying not to feel insulted.

“Nah thanks though. We're gonna go find a table.” I said.

“Worth a shot. I'll be here if you guys need anything.” The clerk said and returned to his box.

Joshua scouted out a table already so we all sat and unrolled out mats.

“Any luck?” Josh asked.

“Oh totally I got this sick new black and white ghost deck!” I sarcastically held out my empty hands and pantomimed shuffling.

“Okay bitch haha.”he snickered at that and pulled out his deckboxes.

“I’m gonna call around before we get started. You never know.”

I got up and walked outside to look up the numbers for a couple other shops in driving range. Frustratingly so they all said a combination of the same thing.

”nah we're sorry we just sold out the last few.”

‘fuck’ I thought as each call ended.

I was disappointed for sure, but what can ya do,

I went back inside to play with my friends.

A couple games and a snack break later the mood of the whole shop shifted, as He walked in.

The smell hit before the noise of his worn thin flipflops on the industrial carpeted floor.

I tried to breathe through my mouth but the powerful odor of unwashed ass and onion was difficult to avoid. He smelled like an Arby's diarrhea dumpster.

“There he is Jess. Might be your only shot for a while.”

Joshua thumbed back at the counter where Geoffrey was now hovering. I could see shiny scalp peak through his greasy thinning hair. He wore a filthy Hawaiian shirt that was difficult to tell fastfood stain from floral design.

“How desperate are ya feeling?”

I looked online in between games and well. Prices on eBay and mercari had me feeling mighty desperate.

I was considering it.

“I'm thinking about it, unfortunately. I don't know if I can stomach being the near guy though.”

That was until I saw the man behind hand Geoffrey a box from behind that counter that had

‘SOS COMS PREORDER GC’ sharpied on the side.

‘fuck’ I thought. I shoulda pre-ordered too.

There had to be a couple of each in that box. I was annoyed. Why would the shop allow someone to just buy so much of the product when other people want to get them to actually use and play with. I was mad but I was thinking I can probably shell out a couple bucks over retail and still get one. Maybe I'll flash a little cleavage and he'll give me a good deal.

I got up and decided to hold my breath upon approaching him.

“Heyy Geoff. How's it going?” I tried not to gag.

“Oh hey there how's it going?” He said resting the box on the counter but not taking his hands off it. There was grease stains blossoming on the cardboard from his fingertips. ‘dirty fuck’ I thought to myself.

“Hey so I was wondering if maybe I could buy one of those decks off of you.. I tried to get here early enough but missed out.”

“Shoulda called a week ago. Like me.” He sneered with this. His teeth were the color of Cheetos with equal bits in-between the jagged graveyard of his mouth.

“Right.. well before you hit eBay you think I can snag one off you? I have cash.” I did a little a shimmy with shoulders and brushed my hair behind my ear.

His eyes grew wide when I did this and I thought I was about to get my way.

“You- you have the mark he told me about” he muttered so low I almost didn't hear him. Almost.

“Mark? What mar- oh you mean this?” The only tattoo on my right arm. A faded ugly deathly hollows stick n’ poke I got done by an ex in highschool. I don't exactly have the money to get it covered up or removed.

“I got it in high school haha. Pretty cringe I know.” i tried to lighten the air he was making thick.

“No, not cringe doll. It's perfect you're perfect. ”

I cringed really hard at this.

“Um thanks.? I think. That's nice of you. So about that deck.” I did my best to keep the conversation on rails.

“What oh yeah sure. Uh here why don't you come with me so I can open this. I don't like to take Inventory with prying eyes about. My vans are just out front.” he said, starting to sweat.

I got nervous about this but he pointed out the shop window with an orange stained finger tip and I could see in full view his candy grabber special, a windowless white Econoline. Sitting out in the parking lot.

“Alright sure. Gimme a sec to grab my wallet, and I'll meet you out there.” I walked back to our table ahead of him so I wasn't walking behind his scent trail.

“i take it by your empty paws that he wouldn't budge?” Alan asked matter of factly.

“So actually, he agreed to. But I gotta go out to his van to get it.” I pointed out the same window and we could all see him trundling to his vehicle.

“Can one of you guys come with me. He was being kinda weird about it. He said my ugly triangle was and I quote ‘perfect’ and that I'm perfect”

“Well that's not fucking normal. Did he hit you with a m’lady?”

“I'm sure he will” I rolled my eyes at this.

“So can one of you please please come with me.”

They both looked at each other. Alan's finger slowly rose to his nose in the universal gesture of ‘not it’

Joshua rolled his eyes at him.

“Yeah I'm coming. Maybe he'll sell to both of us.”

He leaned down to kiss Alan

“Be right back.”

“Don't die.” He joked as we went outside.

The afternoon air was cool and scented by the rain in the asphalt and tacobell across the parking lot. Familiar and comforting. We walked over to Geoffrey digging in the box in the back of his van, ass crack on full display above his drooping beige cargo shorts.

“Alrighty so how much are we thinking for a witherbloom and prismari precons?”

“I got a pair of each, maybe I can..” He popped his head out of the box and his words trailed off. His hands remained inside.

“He's not supposed to be here.” His pale green eyes ate through me as he spoke.

“He is not part of this!”

“Hey relax! He just wants to buy a deck too. Don't you want to make a sale?”

“Yeah! Is that anyway to treat a paying cust-” Two tremendous pops and a painful ring are all I processed before Geoffrey knocked me cold with the heel of his gun.

Hours later a drop of blood dribbled onto my pants from the wound on my head and woke me. My wrists and ankles were constrained to a wheelchair with duct tape.

“Wher.. Where a.. what happened?”

“Oh my darling you're awake! Praise be I was so afraid I might have put you to sleep just a smidgen too hard. Here let me get you a refreshment.”

He was disgustingly sweaty with pupils like pitted olives. It was uncomfortablely hot and full of trash where we were.

“Here my angel. Sip drink slow. You must be confused.

Not long now and we can begin what we were made for.” He took the straw from an old McDonald's cup and deposited it into a bottle of water.

“What the fuck are you talking!” Spittle flew from my lips as I shouted. He shoved the water in my face.

“Oh don't play coy. You're the one. You’re everything he said you would be. You know why we're gathered here today.” He spoke so slow. Tears started to flow from fear.

“Idon’tknowIdon’tknow please God I don't know. Please I won't tell. Just let me go.”

“Oh don't fret. When our work is done the whole WORLD will know of what we've done to save it. They'll be grateful. Aw heck they will be proud.” He stood straight and dropped the water bottle. His eyes fixed on the wall behind me.

“Of course I will. You're right. We have to be sure. I know it's her. You chose her, and this time I know it in my heart, that she IS the right one. I'll get you your taste lord. You will be sure as I am.”

“WHAT THE FUCK. WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?”

My breathing grew out of control as he turned around to fish in his desk.

“What are you going to do to me?” I said through choked sobs. He turned around eyes wide, holding a pair of rusty shears.

“I'm so so sorry my darling but he requires a taste. Just to be sure. You understood this was going to be part of the process. Please hold still for me.”

“Get the fuck away from me! Don't you dare!” I thrashed and screamed trying to grasp any inch of locomotion to get away from this maniac. I shook and shimmied hard enough for the wheel chair to flop onto its side, stamping my skull into the concrete. I could see rats and roaches scurry in the dim light.

“CAREFUL YOU SLAG! That chair was mothers!

Oh my darling I'm so sorry. So so sorry. One thousand apologies please.”

I could form words I was so frightened, my head pounded and I was painfully aware of my bladder.

I head the shears struggle to open as he did nothing to lift me and took my numb right hand in his.

“He just needs sample to be sure angel. Just a little teeny sample. Y'know? Like Costco.”

“Don't touch me please God don't touch me.” I cried out.

“He won't my love. But I will. This is only going to hurt for just a second. I promise.”

He pulled my index finger taught and starting closing the sheers with difficulty. They were dull and jagged and only served to mangle the meat around the bone.

”STOP! PLEASE FOR FUCKSAKE STOP!”

“Shush shush shush. I almost got it. Just a little snag is all hehe.” He stopped and stood facing the wall behind me again.

“It's just the tool. I almost got it. Please be patient with me.

I will have it for you… the scissors? Oh my word you're right. I can do that no problem for you.”

“Who! Please if you can here me please help me!!”

He got on his knees and grabbed my hand once more.

“I'm so sorry about this darling. Just give me one moment. Maybe close your eyes hehe.

The pain in my finger grew wetter, and warm before I felt crooked sharp bone begin to gnaw against my own. I screamed and wailed as he stood up and dropped my finger out of his mouth like a dog.

“There we are. Let's get you upright darling.

I got it! Please Lord have a taste.” He scampered behind me and kept muttering to himself.

“I told! You see! You were right this time. The hair, the mark, the face. It IS her. We found her at last.”

“What? What'sgoingon! I'm nobody. You have the wrong woman!”

“Shhh shhh shh. Don't be modest. You're the one we've been waiting for. It was just confirmed. You're going to need this.” He came back around holding MY finger in between his.

“Please hold still.” He took the dripping finger and anointed my forehead with the brutalized end.

“I will return shortly my darling. Then our work can begin. I love you so much.” He said brushing the hair out of my face.

Three loud thumps like a fist beating down on a coffin came from behind me.

Another three pounds. Louder now. Angrier.

“OPEN UP! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED.”

“Thankyougodthankyou” I was growing hysteric with hope.”

“GEOFFREY HOBBS COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO ENTER.”

“nononono NOO! what did you do you bitch! You tattled! How? How could you betray my love like this.” He struck me across the face and reached for his gun. I could hear sirens approaching and relief begin wash over me.

“I'll take care of this worry not my darling.”

“THIS CAN STILL END PEACFULLY” Came from behind me.

One shot fired from inside.

Before a flood of fire was returned in kind. Geoffrey staggered back and fell to the floor before. Blood drizzled from the holes in his body and the half of his head that remained.

“BREACH THE PREMISES SHE COULD STILL BE ALIVE” as the door came splintering in.

“I'm here I'm here!!

“Dispatch we found the abducted woman. Send in ems and a clean up crew.” two officers came to my side and started to wheel me out.

“Hey look at me. Youre okay now we got the sick fuck. You're safe now. You're gonna be just fine.”

I couldn't form words. I was elated despite the pain I felt and bleeding from my hand. As they wheeled out I got a glimpse of Geoffrey's Lord.

A dingy poster depicting Jesus Christ, kawaii’d out with cat ears, and a smile drawn in my blood.

​

Hello, Reddit. I'm not one for forums much, or for how to write to one, for that matter. My husband is sending me here to the experts in this sort of phenomenon. After one too many rough nights, I had a lot of suppressed memories come bubbling up to the surface of my worries, some I forgot and one's I can't.

Way back in the day a little after my seventh birthday. My parents never wanted my brother and I to be glued to the tv set on a cooling summer's evening. It was a nice night out because the air didn't reek of cow waste and almonds, for once. When it's all you're surrounded by you'd think you would go noseblind to it. It only takes one breeze to remind you of it's presence.

My Dad's the kind of guy who would never skip out on the opportunity to man the grill on a warm night with a cold beer in hand. I loved standing close and watching him work. The heat radiating off of the coals would warm my face while a gentle wind's hand would give its cooling touch. I miss nights like this a lot. I used to like to stare down into the glowing red coals. Seeing all of the light and colors emanate out of them, I would quickly look up to the sky to let the coal's lingering impression on my retinas make the stars dance.

A few seconds later my vision would fade back to normal. My eyes were now focused directly above me. A handful of stars were all glowing so much brighter than the others. I rubbed my eyes, but they were still there shining high. I peppered my dad with questions. I was an annoying kid.

"*Sometimes they just do that champ. Stars are big burnin' balls of fire, and it looks like god's got the gas cranked up on high tonight."* He belched out, not taking his eyes off his chicken legs.

Being seven I took his word as gospel and left it at that. The rest of the night was normal. Dinner, clean up family time, prayer, and then off to bed. My mom always handled the tucking us in bed duties. Dad had to wake up extra early to get started out on the ranch. I always rolled over after my mom shut my door, I liked to watch the the drooping willow branches outside my window move with the wind. It blocked a little more than two-thirds of what I could see out of the window so I had to learn to like it, whether I wanted to or not.

Every window screen in the house was now equipped with extra tough window screens that only dimmed the view from the outside a little. There are a lot of stray cats on the property, who are for the most part harmless. Sometimes though they used to rip right through the screens and piss and trash around the house. Not wanting to harm even god's 'peskiest of critters, Mom and Dad opted to install the extra thick and strong screens.

From my bed, I could see out my little clearing of window to the distant sky. I could still see them. Six stars in the paired and bright shining loud enough that all other stars in the sky were muted in their grace. They made me nervous. Remembering my dad's wisdom I pulled up my covers and rolled over to fall into sleep.

I've never been a very vivid dreamer. Sometimes I could remember a short flash of something or if I was very blessed that night I'd get a whole second or two I could recall for about half the day. Some of my worst nightmares never made it in my mind past lunchtime.

I drifted off to sleep pretty quickly, always do. Flashes of dreams started sinking in the closer to sleep I fell. My breathing slowed and my body kept falling further. I fell from the deep black of sleep into the brightest white I had ever seen. It was cold and clinical. I knew I was in a horrid place. I couldn't move. I couldn't blink. I could see his silhouettes around me. The dentist and his brothers. I could only look straight above me into the glowing indifferent ball of light. it scorched its name into the back of my eyes. I wanted to look away, I wanted to cry, a helpless little part of me knew I was going to go blind. I could feel his awful rubbery gloved finger probe along my gums.

I woke up like I did on any normal morning. With my Dad knocking on my door to start getting up, and with my automatic request for just a few more minutes. I didn't get them. Once my brain kicked on the panic thoughts came flooding into my tired head.

*"OH CRAP I'M GONNA BE BLIND. I"M GONNA HAVE TO GET A DOG AND A CANE. LORD JESUS PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY SIGHT"*

When I opened my now tear-filling eyes I could see the dark of my room. The faint whispers of dawnlight were beginning to peak in through the window. to say I was relieved was an understatement. I was spared. For a all of forty seconds. I tossed my covers aside and got out of bed.The moment my feet greeted the rug I felt yucky and wrong. I was zapped with such a vengeful wave of nausea that I thought my organs were to explode out of my mouth.

I burst out of my room straight for the toilet. If the bathroom wasn't directly across the hall from my door I would have painted the floorboards with the mostly digested remnants of last night's barbecue. After puking out half my body weight and flushing a couple of times I didn't feel much better, only emptier. I went to rinse my mouth, instead of brushing. A choice that only led me back to that chair faster than I would realize.

*"Mill!? Millie hun' are you okay?"* Mom was racing up the stairs, half the world must have heard me vomit.

*"I don't feel so gr--"* Was as far as I got.

I locked eyes with the crimson child in the mirror across me. My hand was still hanging on the mirror's handle. My arm was bright red and I could feel the warmth radiating from it. I felt like a lizard that passed out under the heat lamp. My face was a dry, peeling mask of dead skin. I could see tiny pieces flake from my trembling cracked lips. A scream rose from my throat faster than the vomit. My mom's confused scream quickly tagged along with it.

*"Millie, what on earth did you do. .?"*

*"Momma it hurts. I don't I don't I don't-"* I was as scared and lost as she was.

She scooped me up and ran down the stairs. I got slathered in aloe vera and tossed in the truck with a sleeve of saltines to nibble on, on the drive out to our doctor. My shirt burned all over my sore body, The slightly too tight seat belts made it hurt and itch with every bump on the road. My mom started looking as pukey as I felt. We made the drive in half the time.

I don't know what exactly she told the Doctor, or much of how she responded. Only that this much damage couldn't have happened overnight or it's a severe allergic reaction. She gave us two things, a prescription for some medicated lotion, and a skeptical look while telling us to call back if it ever happens again. The burns healed and time kept passing, we mostly forgot and moved on.

A good few years had come and passed since my first bright dream. We still lived on the same piece of property together, well for the most part. My Brother, six years my senior. had just moved out into his first place after a lot of looking and whole heck of a lot of saving. I helped him load the last of his junk into the back of now **his** truck.

*"You think you're gonna miss this place much?"* I asked him, just trying to start some silence ending chitchat.

*"Am I gonna miss what? The house? you mean fuckin' home? You know it. You can't not miss where you grow up."* It was the early 00s and his vocabulary was as of the time as his fashion sense.

*"It's gonna suck trying to feed myself, but you know what ain't gonna suck? No more pushing jersey shit on my d*ays off. *No more hearing your sleep farts through the wall, and finally. Finally not being frosted with frigging cat hair on all my clothes.*

*"Heh, that'll be something I bet. You know I think I'm miss this baby more than I'll miss you, if I do even. I always hoped I'd get to learn how to drive in her."* I heaved the tailgate while I talked trying not to let show how much I was actually going to miss having my big brother around.

*"Hell Mill, never say never yet. Maybe next year I'll Swing by and we can start leaning you something. Hop in real quick, I wanna give you something."*

*"On it."* I said already reaching for the passenger side handle.

I got excited. Dale rarely gifted me anything, but when he did it was always something awesome. Last time it was a super cool lighter that looked like a stack of dice, time before that It was two little illegalish fireworks he's says he got from his 'friend' in Nevada. I used one with some friends to turn a jack o'lantern to atoms. I'm holding onto the second for something special.

*"In my here hoodie pocket I have something for you that is very special to me. Now I was a teen myself once. I did some dumb and I did some fun things. This beauties a little bit of both I was a little older than you but close enough when I got this tizzight piece.* He pulled a gross little yellow stained ziplock baggie from out of his pocket.

He had stars in his eyes, I had a little disappointed curiosity in mine.

*"What is it, I don't think I want to touch that."*

*"Lemme give you a quick whiff first you'll love it."* He spread the bag's flaps open and the whole cab filled with a thick horrible stink. He pointed the baggie at my face and I saw what it held.

I pinched my nose tight to look closer. Inside was a smaller even more disgusting baggie that contained a small black silicone smoking pipe. At one point it looked like a black owl with big yellow eyes. Now It looks like a partially melted Halloween reject covered in burns and rosin from smokes long passed. It was revolting and I was thrilled.

*"Gosh Dale, I don't what to say. Thank you though. Hey this ain't going to make me as dumb as you, is it?"*

*"Hell, prolly will. Stay in school bud, go to college."* He took a huge deep breath in and dropped his hand on my head.

*"If you squeal to mom or dad, or they find out in any way that I gave this to you. You are capital D Done-Zo. Comprende?"* He winked and tossled my hair a little too rough.

*"I copy dude."* I sealed the baggies and stashed it away in my jacket.

We went inside to have one of our last dinner's as the whole family unit for a little while. In my room I could still smell the bag a little so I flipped the fan in my window around to try and air out the room a little before the smell could latch onto anything in my room. I switched out the bags and made the genius decision to take it to school with me the next day. We didn't have a lot of money at the time and getting a teenage girl a nokia wasn't real high on the expense list.

Communication had to be in person. I was paranoid about getting caught to boot. During passing period I pulled my best friend into a stall with me to show her and we formulated a plan for later that night. Sneaking out at nine pm on a Thursday wouldn't be too difficult. My parents went to bed early and were some of the hardest sleepers on god's green earth. Her Father never really noticed when she was coming and going. He worked a lot.

Serena drove out to the ranch with her own small smelly baggie. She managed to sweet talk it off a senior at school who was constantly bugging her to hang out with him. It got old fast. I waited for her on the porch steps, A cat I had taken to calling Mercy saddled up to me for a few pets. She was pregnant and wanted a little comfort and warmth I gave the little bald spot on her side a good pet to warm it up. I was happy to oblige. She pulled up twenty or so minutes later, we went straight to my room.

Just below my window overhanging the back porch was an old, but sturdy metal awning. I had been sitting on it for years as my little quiet spot. I had made a cut along the bottom and side of the screen for a way in and out. I had to replace the duct tape after every couple of times, but it held up well enough. Except for a time or two that Mercy or another furry vagrant got through and sprayed all over like everything I own.

We grabbed the comforter off of the bed to wrap around us. Took down the fan and climbed out the window. We sat there, only a little nervous but super excited. The air felt electric that night. She offered a smell from her baggie and I was a little hesitant, but not enough to say no. It did smell better. Still like the business end of an angry skunk, but better than where we were about to put it.

We got started with the little knowledge we had. A few snacks, a comfy blanket and a gorgeous starry sky above. I went first. I followed the instructions she gave me. With my lucky roller lighter inhand I brought it to my face.

Load, LIght, and Inhale.

Imemdiatly I was convulsing in a a coughing fit so violent I began drooling. I dropped the pipe and the ember burned a small through my shirt and burned my stomach a tiny bit. My throat scratched and burning, the coughing finally petered and I got my breath. Serena couldn't stop laughing. Guess I looked really funny to her. When my brain finally got oxygen again I realized I was laughing too. I picked up everything real slow and passed it over.

I felt numb and my head was spinny. I leaned back a little further to look up at the shimmering night sky. My eyes locked on the moon. She was a beautiful crescent, but not shining as bright as she usually was. It made me hungry for some reason. I was starving and reached down for the goldfish. I looked back up to the moon, she didn't look right and it bothered me. I scanned the sky for less than a second before my eyes locked on two gloriously bright stars. They were like the northstars older brother in how loud and aggressive they shone. They were polluting the sky and dimming her light. It made me nervous.

I grew so cold. It felt like they were seeing me. My heart started beating faster again as four more stars began to grow in brightness behind them. My stomach churned and I felt sick.

I was swiftly yanked out my internalized panic by my friend's aggressive and dry coughing spasm. Her watering eyes cause me to feel a little sorry for her and I patted her back a little too hard, causing the comforter to fall of our shoulders. We locked reddening eyes and could only giggle. I convinced my self I was just seeing things from the pot and forgot about it.

I don't remember what time we went back inside, or when Serena left. I do remember putting the fan back and being so hungry and tired. I wanted to go downstairs for more snacks but my sleepiness and laziness were both louder than the groaning in my stomach. I flopped onto bed and waited for the loving arms of sleep to whisk me off. Quiet, and so damn comfortable I laid there and felt it felt it drifting in. The world faded into black and fell into dreams.

I was walking down a sidewalk. The neighborhood was too dark tell if I recognized it. Not a single house had their lights on. Not even the street lights were on. I couldn't see a little ways ahead one end of the street curved upwards bringing the houses with it. the other end stretched in the black of night. scared and alone I started walking towards the curve. I didn't getting very far. The hairs on the back of neck stood high when I started picking up a soft buzzing in my ears. It grew in volume for a short moment before the streetlamp above my head flashed to life.

For second I could make out all the houses around. They were all MY house. I couldn't protect my eyes. They locked onto the oppressive white ball that bathed my whole body and the darkness around in it's umbra. My eye's were now entered into a staring contest with this brilliant glow that I didn't plan on winning. I wanted to look away, but I don't think my body could. The world around me vanished and I felt weghtless, like I was being pulled from the surface of dreams below me. The light starting gaining more illumination than it already contained. It was slowly getting closer, not brighter. I was being lifted towards the ball of light.

Then it blinked at me.

My ears were hurt by a yowl of pain and hurt so great that I thought judgement day had come riding in on the throats of every animal on the land. The world went black and I shot out of bed a less than a second after. My face was greeted by the semi plush carpet, my legs hand't gotten the notice to wake up quite just yet. In a sweaty panicked scan I surveyed the room. It was quiet. Surely the whole house had heard what I had. I thought, but the only sounds I could hear were my own labored breath and the whirring of the fan.

The fan wasn't in it's spot but I could still hear it from the window. My wide open window. The screen was in shredded ribbons. I stuck my head and was caught off guard with a putrid wind blown directly up my nostrils. The fan was hanging horizontally blowing straight up . the chord was pulled taught and keeping the fan perpendicular to the wall. I grabbed the handle and plugged it. To this day I still wish I hadn't jesus christ.

I dropped. No i Tossed the fan aside, as a scream starting rise up my throat, the bile came up faster though and choked out the shriek before it could escape. Underneath was Mercy. Oh god. The patch of missing fur was the only way I could tell. Her face was gone, and half of her intestines were laying out like wet mostly deflated balloons.

*"Where'd.? what happened to the kittens..?"* The the thought didn't last long.

The noise from the fan finally died out, and was replaced by the soft, wet gurgling that was leaking out a red froth from the Perfectly triangular hole that used to be her face.

I'm still ashamed that I threw up onto her. I didn't go back to sleep. I Buried her out back in a shoe box and rocked myself in bed until sunrise. My mom knocked on my door not long after to wake up. I didn't change my clothes much. I walked out in an itchy tired haze. I got in the car and waited for mom. Trying to convince myself that I just had a long fucked up nightmare. The dirt under my fingernails, and burn in my muscles told me otherwise.

*"You already baby?, Don't wanna forget noth-"* She cut herself off, pinching her nose and shutting her eyes before she even sat in the car.

*"Oh my god I probably stink from last night. I am so screwed."* I thought quick, a new type of fear coming in.

*"MIll you got inside and change right now. You reek of catpiss! Lord, it's makin' my eyes sting."* She said turning her head to look at me.

*"Catpee?"* I thought. I didn't smell anything but I had an out.

*"I think mercy got in my room again"* I said weakly. Trying to suppress the image in my head.

I unbuckled, but my mom through the car in reverse and started gunning down the drive path. Her eyes were wide and she had her shirt pulled up around her nose.

*"What're you doing I was gonna change?"*

*"We are going to the doctor Millie. Did you not see your G.D. face?* She was real aggressive with her concern.

*"Im okay, I'm just tired! Nothing is wrong."* I felt okay, maybe a little queasy and stressed, but okay.

*"You're not tired you're beet red. It happened again Mill.* She turned the rear view at me and tried not to gag.

My eyes met and I saw peeling, pinking, and puffy skin. The longer I stared, the more I could feel it itch. I didn't want to scratch and cause a rainfall of dead skin. Mom threw up in her shirt a little. After a truckload of tests and an ointment prescription later, they sent us home with less answers and a lot less money than we had going in. Mom stayed sick for a long time after that.

A week later we got a call back. I now know that I didn't have an allergic reaction, I'm more prone to skin cancer and need to wear extra spf sunscreen outside. Everyday, and that I had concentrated levels of thc in my system. I thanked god that mom didn't pick up the phone. I went upstairs to slather up in menthol and corticosteroid goodness. It tingled and stank but the relief was worth the fumes. I had blisters almost everywhere, they stung and leaked for a week. One made it's home on my collarbone that was the size of a pea, and just as round.

The sack was full and stretched tight. I know you're not supposed to pop them, but this fella was bugging me enough when just shirt brushed it. I was left with no choice. Safety pin in hand I leaned into the mirror and gently pinched it in place. This gave me a soft shudder of hurt. It felt hot and greasy on my fingertips. I brought the pin up to it, and started having second thoughts. I was hesitant, the pin was electrified in my fingers. They tingled and couldn't go the final millimeter, even though I knew I was putting force into it.

I could feel my heart pounding in the blister. I was struck through with a lightning bolt of white-hot pain the instant pin touched sack. I yelped and couldn't move. A chorus of pain held my body paralyzed. The pain was a deep hot needle I could feel straight through to my back. The tip of the pin didn't puncture skin. It started pulsating in my fingers. Faster than my heartbeat. I managed to brace myself against the counter. It throbbed a sharp new hell when I caught my weight.

My ears were ringing as the veins on my temples threatened o rupture. I couldn't move, Every breath was a grunting stab. My eyes locked on it in the mirror. It was nearly double in size as it burst open with disgusting damp pop. I shouted and started getting dizzy. It oozed clear runny fluid down my chest. It glistened in the bathroom lights as it dripped onto the counter.

It Stopped weeping, and for a beautiful moment, it didn't hurt. Maybe that was just shock setting in. A staggeringly new pulse of pain and confusion struck me. There was a tiny hole in its center. My eyes fixed on it. An uneasy droplet of blood shot from it before a small shiny silver ball birthed itself out. It tinked into the sink and down the drain. I passed out when my dad started pounding on the door.

Years passed and a lot in life changed. I was now in my third year of college. For veterinary science and medicine, go figure. I was doing a couple of semesters out of state. My brother had talked me into taking the opportunity. As homesick as I was I had made friends and even started dating.I'm thankful I wasn't far from home, and alone. The trees were leafless at the end of November, right before the cold started gaining legs and I was blessed with a week free from classes for the holiday.

This road trip was an important one. My mom had been battling a lengthy stretch of leukemia, and after many rounds of chemo she was in well enough health to celebrate her very favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. My brother moved back home when Mom got really sick. Dale would care for her when he knew Dad needed a rest, even though he would never admit it. He never left her side and made life for her as comfortable as the lord would allow him to.

I was nervous about this trip for another reason. It would be the first time any of my family gets to meet my girlfriend at the time Dani. They had already heard everything about her well before we began to date, but meeting people in person can always be different y'know? We met studying at the same starbucks. She thought my headphones were cute, and I liked her laptop stickers. We started studying next to each other and became friends. To best friends, to girlfriend and girlfriend. Things were going really well.

Three quarters through our trip we stopped at a gas station in Nevada to take a leak and fuel up We were only a little behind but still making good time. While looking around the sparse rows of junk food and soda I saw the turnstile of name keychains. I started flipping through the D section like a mad woman while Dani was in the restroom. After too many Davids, and Daren's and even a couple Dales, I found it.

"DANIELLE"

She always disliked her full name and we had that in common. It was one of the first things we bonded over. I was willing to waste a couple bucks on some light teasing. I walked out after paying to start filling the car. Keychain in hand, A bag of fritos, two redbulls in the other, and seventy-five on pump six. I finished filling the tank up, but Dani was still inside. The last drive through must have really hit her hard. She usually doesn't take this long. Even after a greaseball lunch.

A few minutes pass and I saw her walk out of the gas station clasping her hands together with the biggest goofiest grin I ever saw on her face. THe closer she got to the car the more I could hear her giggle. The way her muffled chuckles whistled through her chipped front tooth was one of my favorite sounds.

"*I found you a little something inside."* She let out composing herself a touch.

Before I could say

"I got somethin' for you too cutie"

She cleared her throat and unwove her fingers from each other to reveal an adorable Little green man keychain, well it would have been adorable. If it weren't for the big ugly letters ground into it's surface.

"MILDRED"

"*For my liittle ol' lady. Cause I think* yo*u're outta this world!"* She giggled out and kissed me on the forehead.

My jaw hung half open in a grin, I was definitely surprised but in a warm happy way. I reached in my pocket and pulled her surprise.

"*I'm glad we're on the same page Danielle."* I snickered presenting the keychain I got for her like I just snagged a huge fish.

"*Oh you are such a bitch. I love you."* She said playfully punching my arm.

*"I love you too asshole*" We kissed and started out on the last leg of our road trip

We crossed state lines after several traffic jams had slowed us down considerably. There was still ten hours left in our drive and both of us were falling too tired to keep going. After a couple of swerves on the rumble strips and a few more exits we chose to pool our remaining cash and get a room for the night. We would still make it tomorrow and a day early. We just need a little rest to get there. We got lucky and found ourselves at the

‘Cozy Corner Comfort Lodge’

We were exhausted and it was cheap. It was perfect.  Dani checked us in and I opted to stay outside and get some blood back into my legs. The cricket song, accompanied by the cool late night breeze made it real difficult to keep my eyes open. Even in the midst of stretching. The starry sky above was a nauseating beauty. It made the hairs on my neck stand high, but I still liked stare out. It was like the ocean to me. Big deep and frightening.

*"So the guy behind the counter is one hundred percent on something, he is big tweaking in there. I scored us a room though." She had said with the barest hint of concern on her tongue.*

Half awake I kinda just stared and nodded in response. We found our room and shambled into the stale smelling but clean enough looking room. I tripped trying to get my shoes off and Dani helped me into one of the two queen-sized beds. It was over for me the moment my head touched pillow. I hardly felt her climb in behind me as I began falling off the cliff into sleep.

I was cold and walking through sparse woods alone. I could hear the noises of animals crunching through the flora around me. My breath was visible but the condensation never dissipated and left a trail behind me. I was being guided by the shining light of two full moons above me. Where I was being led was a secret only they knew. I walked barefoot through my numb feet trodding through muddy leaf covered ground, but my feet always came away from the surface clean.

There was a break in the trees and my foot came touched down on warm dusty asphalt. It hurt the bottom of my feet but was nicer compared to sharp cold wet mud. I found myself on a long stretch of highway, with trees lining both sides. My legs began walking on their own now, down the road towards the two voyeuristic moons ahead. They walked for hours and I never grew any closer. The forest on either side of me never changed. Like I was walking on rough painful treadmil. Except I was no longer walking. My legs were stiff and dangled above the yellow lines below. I was still moving forward.

I felt the hairs on my neck raise as fear struck my every sense. Further down the road I saw a pair of headlights coming fast towards. I tried to scream and thrash but I couldn't move a single part of my body. I was trapped paralyzed like a deer. The headlights. weren't speeding towards me. I was drifting to them. They grew warmer the closer I got. Suddenly I felt the same heat beaming down from behind me. I couldn't turn back I knew it was another pair of lights. I could see two shadows on the asphalt eminate from my body as I was lit up from behind.

I tried to scream. I tried to cry. I couldn't even move my eyes. The light grew warmer and warmer as I got closer. Two more pairs of lights flicked on to life from between the trees. They kept pace with my floating form. Ther light cut through the trees, never breaking from my body. The intense searing white was quickly becoming all I could see. I slammed my eyes shut as best I could but It did little help. I could turn my head the closer I got and felt my heart ruptured when next to me I saw Dani. Drifting towards the same fate I was. There was tears streaming down her paralyzed face.

Everything went black like the flip of a light switch. I woke up hard and I woke up fast. LIke I was dropped into bed from the ceiling. I arose feeling nauseous and shitty. I tried to rub the sleep from my eyes and felt my face, tight and hot. This time I instantly knew what I was feeling. I sprinted to the bathroom mirror. I saw my red face and shoulders, shiny and peeling. It hurt. I could see the beds behind me in the mirror. Dani wasn't in either of them.

My confusion pivoted to panic. She wasn’t in the room. She wasn’t in the fucking room. I searched and scrambled outside. I threw up. I cried.  She wouldn’t just leave me. She wouldn’t. The car was still parked outside. Her keys and wallet were still in the locked room. Even her shoes were still there She was gone.

I threw up and cried throughout the entire questioning process with the police. The officers who took my statements were getting sick and nauseous as the hours went on. Some of them were gagging. They questioned all two of the employees that worked the motel that night. Neither of them was taken serious. I don't know what they said. I only heard that all the electronics went out at the same moment and that one of them was passed out at the time.

She was filed as missing and they brushed their hands off the situation. I guess they have a lot of missing persons reports this time of year, and are

*"Going to do everything within our power to find your friend."*

They pinned her picture onto a giant board that hung on the wall. She was surrounded by hundreds, of other missing men, women and children. My vision zoomed out, and her face became a drop in an ocean of faces. All of them had vanished without a trace. Never to be seen again.

My Dad drove down the last few hours we had to make to escort me home. Dale stayed home with Mom and the family. The drive back in Dad's truck was long and silent. I didn't have any words only sadness and worry. My Dad did his best to comfort me. We made it back to the ranch a day late.

What’s crackin’ chattin’s. Its ya boi here ol Squatchsniffer69. Im on day 3 of my local hunt for the sweet furry baby we all know and love. Thats right, i made muh way all the way out here to point pleasant from the hoe-m base.

I’m out here hunting a scoop i got.. I’ll put up my recent track on the bunny man of clifton. Funny shit that was. Any way. Let me tell you whats been going. I got the call while i was grubbin on my usual 3am burrito. Deep in the asader and crema. When my ‘puter dings tellin me that muh buddy craig up in verginer caught some out on his land.

Now yall know im a big skeptic man . Despite all my trailcam evidence. I got enough shit on camera to make the pope believe, if he could stop sucking on a little boys feet for two minutes. Any way the ol' craiginator sends me a video file, and im thinking great, i gotta watch this whole shit and tell him its just a deer.so i crack it open and start watching.

Its only like two minutes and im thinking

’this is way too long for my brain meat to pay attention to.’

So its video right, i think i said that. Sorry yall im deep in the nug tonight. Trail cam footage from his land, bout a 8 miles outsida point pleasant. Around thirty seconds in this gross looking little bambi walks into frame. Now this thang looks FUCKED up, with capitol fuck. Fur all gone, bits of skin missing. Its mouth was dripping something dark and frothy, and it had a little mushroom looking thing growing out of its eye! I bet that thing’ll send you to space if you eat it.

So imi sitting there staring at this thing thinking gross oh what the fuck. When about fifteenerso seconds later these two glowing orbs flicker into life behind it. So im thinking, cool. A ufo case? Cause orbs are fuckin’ sweet. But them two big ol bright knockers got closer to this dying little deer. Im thinking radiation from these things fucked this little critter to shit. The little doe is shaking and it looks like its dying, a few seconds later it collapses to the ground right in full frame!

Can you believe this shit. So it hits the ground pretty pathetically, and the orbs are still behind not moving not doing anything something in the video starts shrieking. Now this freaks my ass out cause i thought shit had no audio, there wasnt any wind, no crunching of leaves not even a peep from the chernobyl bambi. Now i damn near fell out of my chair because again that shit was loud. When the shriek happened them two orbs came darting closer to the camera and im starting to realize that them aint no orbs! Theys two big ol ugly eyes of a bigger ugly man in some kind of robe. It got closer but still not too much in frame now i can make out the figure of that robe openin’ up. But it wasnt no robe at all! It was them giant fucking wings! I think this thing had like 6 arms. I couldnt make out its face, I tried to zoom and enhance the whole nine, but faster than i could squirt this thing scooped up the deer and flew outta frame real fast. Like lightning fast. Frame by frame didn’t get much more than a two blurs and a blink. So im thinking what the shit was that? I call up craig but it just rang and rang, he aint picking up. I figured I'd wait till morning so i finished my burrito and i went sleep after a quick crankin.

Any way craig calls me back, tellin me he cant fuckin' sleep anymore because he keeps hearing shriekin getting closer to his cabin every night that passes, and that his hair is startin to fall out. So im making my way there. Ill keep yall updated on what i find when i get there.

-Ya boi. Squatchsniffer69.

​

I'm a man who has spent a lot of life with my nose in books. I have learned the philosophies of man and the storied religions from every corner of the globe. I've devoured the words of the prophets and the doctrines of guidance. It is all total horeshit. Organized religion, Spiritual practice, witchcraft and even whack job fringe cults. Not a single one of them got it right. I found the truth and It wasn't written on paper.

An icy road and a drunk driver catapulted me into my hunt for the truth. The car's blaring horn faded into the steady beat of a heart monitor. When I woke up I was an orphan, when I managed to walk again it was into Saint Katherine's home and school for boys. There was no one to mourn my parents but me. There was no funeral. Only a priest to give me two boxes full of ash. What the sisters attempted to teach me with the flat end of a meter stick was beaten out of me by the older boys. I wanted my parents. I needed to know why they never came back to see me.

I would be fetal on the cold ground, crying for them to come back and save me. I was told repeatedly that 'My parent are up in god's kingdom.' or "In the ugly boxes under my bunk.' Neither was an answer. My parents were dead and they never came to check on me. Not as ghosts, and not as dreams. They weren't in those boxes. All those were, were two cardboard boxes full of grey powder. My years of abuse in that place turned me from a jaded young boy to a bitter man. I found the truth in my early thirties. I spent many years as a crewman aboard cargo ships. The pay was mediocre but I didn't want the money. These jobs took me far and wide and I was able to interact and learn from various diverse cultures and every teaching they'd be willing to give me.

It was winter, and we were docked in the North Atlantic. The rest of the crew and I had a few days of downtime due to a catastrophic failure in the anchor's chain winch. I returned from a service with the local faith healers. They taught nothing. I prattle of nonsense, combined with the excision of a handful of chicken gizzards from a sick elderly woman. I returned the ship disappointed, but used to the bite of being left empty-handed and still hungry for answers. On my return, I was offered a valuable experience. from a fellow crewmate and almost friend. Zayven. He was from Singapore, He and I shared a similar upbringing. While I turned my tragedy into a hunt for answers. His turned him towards drugs and other means of stimulus.

He handed me a half-crumpled water bottle full of random-looking roots and dark amber liquid. it was the color of piss after a night of binge drinking. Ayahuasca he told me. If I wanted to find heaven, and see god he told me this was how. I was not against using psychedelics. I tried mushrooms and even LSD in the past. I spent time in a Children of Mycelia branch for a while and they loved their psychedelics, I still get flashbacks from time to time. I drank the disgusting liquid it tasted of licorice and cat shit. It wasn't long before I began what they call "The Purge."

My stomach convulsed and my head spun. I began to vomit and vomit and vomit. Everything inside me, followed by everything I ever thought of eating. I began to feel the colors of the world around me. I felt them rush through me into the center of my skull where it began forming a violent heat till it pierced through to my forehead. My third eye tear itself open to see the evening light. At this moment My body contracted one more time, and I fell overboard.

I couldn't feel any sensation besides cold. I didn't know I was drowning. Hell I didn't even know I was wet. I Took a back seat to my own body, it was surrounded in murky darkness. But I was free. The colors of light that penetrated my mind gave way and danced around me till they were almost tangible and pulling at me. My physicality sank further and further and further. I realized I was being pulled from it, but it was okay. I knew it was I was calm and at peace. I thought what could be to come. I thought of my parents.

The muddied depths gave way to light as my spirit broke through the water's surface. I saw the ship, and seconds later I witnessed my fellow crewmates diving into the water after my body. I rose above ship, towards the horizon. It was beautiful. No better place to die than a sunset. I scanned around me I saw the dock, I saw the cities, across the water and the land I could see other gorgeous ribbons of light all heading towards the sky. Some were close by and others had to be thousands of miles away. Other souls all making the next steps in their journey.

Quickly now, past the birds, above the mountains, and beyond the clouds we arose until we pierced through the day into the eternal night sky. The stars were beautiful at eye level. Thr ribbons of light penetrated through the entire globe. They began to twist and converge into a single braid. I could almost make out other faces in the ribbons. They all looked so at peace. I was excited to finally have answers. I looked ahead towards where the trails of light terminated. I gaze forward to the heaven man was never meant to see.

I saw god.

There above us. He was a writhing mass of energy and color. Fleshy tendrils of light that weaved their ways through it's form. Slithering and enveloping eachtoher amassing this continent sized behemoth. the ribbons of color our souls were locked in were being pulled into it's spiraling Maw of eternity. I would have cried if I was able to. The closer I got to the other souls, to their energy. there faces had not changed. They held blissfully ignorant smiles of solmenity. They could not see the monster before us inhaling us into it's celestial gaping throat. Man was not meant to witness god. Not a single teaching of faith spoke of the animal we were about to feed.

I was suddenly tugged to a halt, my energy stood still as I watched the others continued towards their end. I didn't know what net caught me but I was grateful for it. I was being pulled away from this nightmare. I was grateful and I was so happy. I cared not if I was being ripped to straight to the river styx. Anywhere that wasn't being consumed by this entity's gullet. The further I got from him the more thankful I was. I began to pray and thank a god for saving me. That's when it turned one of it's texas sized eyes to mine. God looked directly at me, with a gaze of hunger.

It's eye never left me the entire way I was wrenched from him. I was being pulled faster and faster and it watched me the whole time. All at once everything went white. My ears ringing was the first sensation that returned to me, before the burning in my lungs and taste of salt. I choked up water, and could hear everyone around me cheer. As soon as air reentered my lungs it came out as a scream that didn't end for hours.

I saw god, and it's starving.

I quit my job and persued a new field of study. My parent's were gone and digested by it. I accepted that truth and began the hunt for what this god above really is. I came up with nothing. Books, libraries. Priests, shamans, and forums. Not even the internet had a single answer or experience close to mine. Not a single fucking thing. I researched for years and came up short on every avenue I searched. I came close on a forum I can’t disclose here. They described the ribbons to me, the feeling of the pulling. It was close. When I went to answer his comment the post was removed. I tried to repost it, I tried to find the commentor, but it was all lost. 

A few days later is when I met the men who want to kill god. They told me everything I had ever wanted to know. It came to our planet from beyond the stars and made us in it’s image. It made us out of it’s own energy and bits and pieces of the creatures that already existed below. It created mankind as a vessel to foster the right energy to sustain itself. The human soul. 

An entire history of violence, breeding, and war kept it nice and fat for a long time. It’s existence was discovered by taiwanese researchers in the middle of world war two. Which also led to the biggest observable change in it’s form to date. All of that manmade pain and suffering made their spirits plump and greasy. All those poor souls made god bloated and strained. This led to plans. This led to ideas. The first try was to starve it out. This was done with the advent of television broadcast and even more effectively the onslaught of the internet and wifi, they create a wave like net that captures escaped souls and shreds them to nothing. This has done tremendous work in phase one to start starving it out these last decades.

Phase two is to begin in four years time. The next step is to overfeed it all all at once. On april 30th 2030 all broadcast signal on the winter half of earth will cease. Two million lives will be lost in a mass casualty event scheduled at 06:00 hours UTC. Their lives will be all be lost at the exact same instant sending god the psychic gravy train that’ll rupture it’s being and set our species free. We are going to put an end to the Godhead, and save our souls.