Hi all,
I hope everyone’s wedding planning is going well!
TLDR: bridesmaids crappy behaviour makes me want to drop her to enjoy my wedding day but her parents invited and Fiancé doesn’t want me to cause drama.
I have three bridesmaids but one of them has annoyed me so much from the beginning and I quickly started to regret my choice in asking her. I resent her greatly now.
We’ve been friends since college and I recently moved to the same town as her. She was always good company on nights out when we were younger and seemed to be good when giving advice.
Now we are two months out from the wedding, I’m really dreading the thoughts of her being around on the day as part of the bridal party. I honestly feel like there is no way I can rely on her to help with any bridesmaid duties(nothing crazy, just looking after my bag and taking photos on my phone)
Sooo at the beginning, she kept going against my idea for the bridesmaid dress colours, stating her opinion, how her friend agreed that it wouldn’t suit her skin tone, kept sending me links to other dresses online. After such pushback I gave in and decided to change the colour of the dresses. Bearing in mind they were allowed to pick any style they wanted and these were chiffon, not satin in case she felt uncomfortable.
She made a rude comment about another bridesmaids weight when I said it was hard to buy items in everyone’s dress size and some didn’t go to plus size and came out with “you’d think she’d be losing weight for the wedding then” and absolutely no way did I expect anyone to be losing weight for this! Also wanted to know “what jewellery are we getting?” And that we should go abroad for the hen party,
For the hen party, I wanted something low key and booked a nice activity myself for us, but she needed help booking a restaurant and felt so overwhelmed by that therefore had to ask someone she knew outside of the bridal party. Even then the booking didn’t have two tables together like she said she asked for. We didn’t get to go to my original choice restaurant because she booked too late and when I asked her to because I was worried about availability, she adamantly said no twice because she wanted to know where the first activity was going to be located. Same day, she made a snarky comment to one of the other bridesmaids which really lacked tack.
She turned up to my hen, sick with a cold which I found out an hour after she had touched everything in the kitchen, and wore a bright white blouse… when she asked everyone in the group to wear something black/pink. She also left the bar on my hen without letting me know and got a car ride back to the home town to go to another bar. She never once came up to me to say she was leaving and checking if I was going to get a lift back also.
To summarise, I feel like enough is enough. There’s being dumb/socially inept or looking like it’s intentional. She has been a bridesmaid twice before so not her first rodeo.
My peace feels broken, the thoughts of her getting all these gifts and items when she doesn’t any of it. My fiance really doesn’t want me to go nuclear on her because her parents are coming to the wedding and they’re well known in the area. He’s worried I will look like the bad guy.
What do you think? If this was your bridesmaid, would you bite your tongue or put your foot down to enjoy your day!