u/CO258963

I’m new to polyamory if that’s even the right word for what I’ve fallen into. This situation wasn’t something I intentionally sought out and I’ve never been in this kind of dynamic before. So I’m still trying to understand how I feel about it.
I’m struggling a lot, especially with jealousy toward their other partner. For example, they’ll post that partner on social media almost immediately after seeing them. But when it comes to me we mostly just hook up and there’s no acknowledgment or sharing of our relationship. It also feels like they prioritize spending time with the other partner much more than with me.
They’ve told me that their other partner is the “primary,” and that there’s a hierarchy. That part really doesn’t sit well with me. It makes me question what my role actually is and whether I’m just being treated like a side piece.
They’ve also said I’d be making a mistake or missing out if I walk away but honestly, I’m not sure what I’d be missing out on. Right now it just feels confusing and a bit one sided.
I’ve told them that I don’t think this dynamic is for me. They say they’ll respect my decision, but their actions don’t fully reflect that. They continue to make comments about how I’d be missing out or how strong our connection feels, which makes it seem like they’re trying to change my mind rather than actually respecting the boundary I’ve set.
I’m trying to figure out what’s normal in situations like this, what might be considered red flags, and whether this is something I should continue exploring at all.