My partner and I have been together for a little over a year now and are currently long distance, however I travel home pretty frequently. Gift giving is something that stresses me out a little, but is also something I really love. For lore reasons related to a past shopping addiction I like to give pricier gifts at times, I do not expect gifts to be reciprocated of the same financial value by any means, however, I really really appreciate thoughtful gifts.
My girlfriend is not a good gifted and doesn't feel it's her strong suit. Totally fine, I care about the effort, and in the past it has always been there.
Examples for the curious (not needed for context):
For my birthday, pretty early in the relationship, we still lived close together and she got some snacks that fit my dietary needs and we watched a show and cuddled and had a good date night. In the winter she researched a shopping district of the town she lives in (near my parents) and came to pick me up, took me to breakfast (again making sure they had food I could eat) and took us on a route that hit a bunch of stores she thought I'd like. She doesn't have a lot of cash but covered gas and our meal and some chocolates we shared and we each covered our tea, and I did some shopping with gifts money from relatives.
Our one year anniversary was while we were apart but I was going to fly home for a visit the following week so I asked if she wanted to just celebrate a week later instead of a video date, she agreed. On the actually day before our anniversary we were on the phone so she did stay up a little extra so it would be our anniversary and we could wish it on the actual day because she knew I worked late in our anniversary.
When I did go home I was technically home to see family so we knew we'd only have some evenings together, no time to go out. I got her two gifts, one related to a new hobby of hers for her to use at home, and one admitted splurge on something for a shared interest we could use together while we were together and she could continue to use. The day she came over had been long and exhausting and she'd decided to come two days early so I wasn't ready and was very frazzled. Her gifts were in two boxes, I told her to open one now and one later and when I did she said she hasn't gotten me anything and had this shame in her voice and I was faced away from her at the time but I quickly cut her off to say that it was fine and not to worry about it. I didn't want her upset so I decided it was a non issue and thought maybe because she was going home for some classes and then coming back down for a few nights before I had to leave again she might do something, or plan something, or match my energy in some budget-friendly way. Nothing.
I'm trying to let it roll of my back for a lot of reasons, but something about knowing that A) I did put a fair amount of time (research, going to a specialty shopping for one of them, sorting through brands for the other to find the precise colours I knew she'd like, etc.) and money into her gift and B) I know she's capable of putting in good effort, even with low budget and not a lot of time.
Besides this we had a pretty good couple days, but I'm back in my city now and I just feel like the anniversary meant nothing, like she didn't want to celebrate making it that far. I'm not angry, this doesn't feel burning like that, more confusion and distance, like I don't know what piece of the puzzle I'm missing, but I don't want to bring it up and feel like I'm accusing her of something. I'm just lost.