I've been, I guess the appropriate word is 'active', in kink for 5 or so years. And I remember what it felt like in the beginning, I really felt like I was enjoying myself and very exited at the prospect of getting to do things. Rope, impact, etc... I'd spend downtime thinking of things I wanted to try or scene ideas, I'd write down notes and sketch ties and keep records of information on the person I was with, what they liked, what they didn't, safewords, triggers, little things I could do to drive them wild.
These days though it all feels very lackluster. Rope work mostly starts with remembering how long it's been since I've had the chance, impact doesn't really feel invigorating. I did a suspension a while back, which is towards the upper end of my skillset and all I could think about was how many years it's been since I last had the chance to do this on a person.
I'm still relatively young (27) but I feel like I've lost all the mental and sexual intensity and pleasure I used to get from this. It all feels so rote and like I'm going through the motions. And I'm sort of worried this is the new normal for me.