Reconnected with someone I’ve known for years, now I’m stuck in a confusing push-pull dynamic
I recently reconnected with someone I’ve known for a long time through a mutual friend. We never had any romantic history before, but we were familiar with each other, so when we started talking again, it felt easy and natural.
This time around, the connection felt different. Conversations had depth, there was consistency at the start, and it didn’t feel surface level. We spent time together in person, and it honestly felt genuine like something that could potentially turn into more.
But here’s where I get conflicted.
She identifies as straight and has openly said she wants to eventually be in a relationship with a man, especially since she’s been single for a while. She did mention having some kind of experience with a girl in the past, but it didn’t go anywhere and that was a long time ago.
At the same time, the way we connect when we talk feels… different. It doesn’t feel purely platonic to me, which is why I’m struggling to reconcile what she says vs. how things feel on my end.
After we spent time together, her communication became inconsistent. There are moments where she’ll still engage in small ways like reacting, tapping in, or giving just enough attention to remind me she’s there but when it comes to actual consistency or deeper conversation, she pulls back or disappears.
It’s been this cycle of feeling close, then suddenly distant.
I’ve tried to handle it calmly. I didn’t pressure her, didn’t over message, and gave her space. But I can’t ignore how confusing and draining the inconsistency has been.
So now I’m stuck questioning myself more than anything am I reading too much into the connection because of how it feels to me? Or is there actually something there, and she’s just holding back for her own reasons?
For anyone who’s been in a similar situation especially when the other person says they’re straight but the connection feels different am I just fixating on something that isn’t really there? Or is this one of those situations where there could be something, but it’s just not being fully acknowledged?