So I've decided to try an do a personal project over the summer. Im gonna revise organic chemistry just cause I miss it, but I wanna get into stuff like solidworks or ansys. What would be the best approach to become decent in these things so I could apply them better. Im just kind of grasping for any sort of experience right now cause employed wise im chudded.
I've been studying chemical engineering for about 3 years now and will be graduating soon.
I dont feel any connection with my degree and I feel im mediocre at it. Its so pathetic, doing an entire degree and somehow still not feeling any passion or anything for it.
I wish I could go back in time and do something more chemistry focused or maybe material science. Everyone else seems to be getting some footing and I feel like im running out of time somehow and everyday is just me thinking wow what a waste. Im not particularly good at anything.
I didnt try hard to get a job this semester. Ill admit that. I was fighting really hard to keep going and just to pass classes. At the same time I transferred from a community college into my second year and now im in third year and I cant seem to get my foot in the door. My resume looks pathetic and my friends younger than me in their 2nd year are getting internships. I feel so pathetic and lost because everyone else seems to have a direction and I struggle to feel passion for anything I do. I did do a research thing this semester but I feel like it was a bit of a nothing burger. Im gonna be 21 by the time I graduate and it would have been sooner if I didnt mess up my credits.
I really hate what I've done to myself. Stuck in a cycle of self hate and just feeling awful. I cant stand how much stupider I feel.