u/CAPTAINP3PP3R

so i found out a week ago that my brother tragically fell dick first into my last breakup.

the relationship in question was a serious one with a life long friend ten years ago. it was back and forth with us, imagine ross and rachel from friends with some jerry springer spinkled in.

last week she messaged me with some pathetic excuse for an apology/confession along the lines of

"i bet you wonder why we havent gone back to being close and i have to confess that i slept with your twin brother days after we broke up. i was in a fucked up head space and just wanted to hurt you and now that im a new mother i feel terrible about what i did to his wife.. blah blah blah goes into detail of how it all went down and the different occasions.. but it really doesnt matter cuz we werent technically dating."

lololol ok. hold up yall. we lived together thru that whole thing, and for months past that. miserably i might add.

we all worked together. i confided in him. she was my bff for 14yrs, they knew better.

he had a 1 yo child in the house while they cheated. then the next time they did it in my apartment while i was out of town.

since then i have helped him move cross country for a fresh start. paid his jail expenses, paid his bills, supported his rehab, paid for his college, let him live with me, provide him at least 2 jobs and a stable career, ect. ect ect.

my SIL is one of my close friends since highschool, she went on to have 2 more of his children. i dont want to lie to her any longer.

with the bff, i had fought shamelessly for the right to be in her life not understanding why she turned on me. were talking some cruel shit, and that wasnt secret stuff, that was daily life.

lets not mention how i just won trust issues bingo!

sex is sex sure, autonomy is valid and important. however, i feel what she did was weaponizing sex, and my family. i dont feel they are the same thing.

clearly i got issues but i have therapy luckily and its helped over the years. im proud to say that the old me would be in jail at this point.

but that brings me to my very rare position of opportunity!

no one knows that i have this info except for the exbff that confessed this shit. so atm i have a headstart on my brother and the 'press' if you will, amongst friends and family.

now if any of you were given such an opportunity, what would you do with it?

caveats**

this isnt the first or....4th time getting caught cheating, but allegedly hes on his last strike. (clearly SIL needs therapy too.)

brother and SIL arent offically married but apparently plan on tying the knot in 2 weeks. surprise! found that out today. theyre lease is also ending so theyll be moving soon, i thought that might be an out opportunity for her if she wants it.

im hoping i can think of a way to respond to this situation, ethically, but also reclaiming some of my dignity back. advise anyone?

so last week i unknowingly fell into some wild drama. someone help me with a revenge plot.

i cant make this shit up.

10 years ago i was in a serious relationship with my bestfriend. it wasnt going well cuz we were going thru alot in our lives, mid 20s suck. we had been best friends for 13years at that point. anyway our emotions were high and our communication was garbage so we fought alot there at the end. we were alot like ross and rachel season 2-3. wed fight and make up alot until one day we fought and she said we were done. well obviously that wasnt the first time id heard that, so i gave her some space by going out with some friends for the weekend and then traveling with my sister out of state to visit grieving family. we lived together and were stuck together for the next 2months cuz of our lease. now heres where it gets interesting. less than a week after the split, my twin bother slides into her dms. she didnt run him off, instead they decided to go to his house while his wife was at work and bang it out while my 1yo niece was home with them. when i left the state for a trip a week later, he came to my apartment knowing id be gone and they continued sleeping together.

now i know what yall are gonna say, "its been 10 years, grow up and get over it...blah blah blah" but let me explain my stance.

first, off he was married to one of my other best friends, he had to cheat on her and his child to do this

second, he knew everything about my relationship with her. we all worked together and i was dumb enough to confide in him thru the whole ordeal

third, despite her clear cut autonomy, what she did was wrong on multiple levels cuz it wasnt just harmless sex. it was weaponized against me and it just lit my family on fire. she actually told me " i did it to hurt you"

and fourth, a brother should never do this to his own brother. wtf. its not ok in any kind of facet. this wasnt in love. this was a revenge plot, and he armed her with the weaponry.

oh and 5th i work with SIL everyday and i just suppose to hold this secret for them?!? nooooooope.

now what im currently mad at and want justice for is that not only did they betray me, my SIL and her kids, but for 10 years they let this lie seep into our lives without giving us a chance to make informed decisions. SIL went on to have 2 more kids with him and i have put so much time, effort, money, and resources to help support his troubled a**. i put him thru college, got him at least 2 jobs, paid his bills, paid for his jail accounts, let him live with me and my wife, the list goes on. its safe to say that alot of those things i would not have willingly given up if i had known his level of deceit. im humiliated and devastated. there after the affair started, it wasnt the normal level of meanness my ex and i had been use to in our fights. she became cruel. i had no clue what i could have done to deserve the physical and psychological warfare. those were some of my darkest days and i blamed myself for it. when that relationship ended i was broken. how i could have made someone who cared so much and that i respected so much hate me so viciously? i believed for over a decade that i was a terrible person and have been trying to cope with being afraid of all my relationships.

iv been in therapy for years so i havent reacted in the way i wouldve expected. im proud of my growth.... buuuuuut i feel like for the first time i need to stick up for myself. bad people have walked all over me my whole life, brother included. im officially done and ready to clap back. issue is i dont trust SIL to handle this proportionately. hes cheated many times and is on his last strike but i doubt id see any justice, just humiliation from the rest of our huge family. so i plan to get my pound of flesh first and let her have him after.

no one knows that i know except for the ex-bff that confessed last week. my brother is unaware that i know and SIL is clueless.

my goal is to absolutely humiliate him, safely, legally, and in a way that doesnt cost the food on my nieces table. this is a bit more challenging than i thought.

rn i had the idea to drive him 5 hours away and leave him at a greyhound station. then tell his wife what hes done. im not particularly keen on a 5 hour drive when gas is $4+ a gal.

so if anyone has some sadistic advice, im all ears. i am ready to take back my power before i sever the connection.

so last week i unknowingly fell into some wild drama. can someone help me get even?

i cant make this shit up.

10 years ago i was in a serious relationship with my bestfriend. it wasnt going well cuz we were going thru alot in our lives, mid 20s suck. we had been best friends for 13years at that point. anyway our emotions were high and our communication was garbage so we fought alot there at the end. we were alot like ross and rachel season 2-3. wed fight and make up alot until one day we fought and she said we were done. well obviously that wasnt the first time id heard that, so i gave her some space by going out with some friends for the weekend and then traveling with my sister out of state to visit grieving family. we lived together and were stuck together for the next 2months cuz of our lease. now heres where it gets interesting. less than a week after the split, my twin bother slides into her dms. she didnt run him off, instead they decided to go to his house while his wife was at work and bang it out while my 1yo niece was home with them. when i left the state for a trip a week later, he came to my apartment knowing id be gone and they continued sleeping together.

now i know what yall are gonna say, "its been 10 years, grow up and get over it...blah blah blah" but let me explain my stance.

first, off he was married to one of my other best friends, he had to cheat on her and his child to do this

second, he knew everything about my relationship with her. we all worked together and i was dumb enough to confide in him thru the whole ordeal

third, despite her clear cut autonomy, what she did was wrong on multiple levels cuz it wasnt just harmless sex. it was weaponized against me and it just lit my family on fire. she actually told me " i did it to hurt you"

and fourth, a brother should never do this to his own brother. wtf. its not ok in any kind of facet. this wasnt in love. this was a revenge plot, and he armed her with the weaponry.

oh and 5th i work with SIL everyday and i just suppose to hold this secret for them?!? nooooooope.

now what im currently mad at and want justice for is that not only did they betray me, my SIL and her kids, but for 10 years they let this lie seep into our lives without giving us a chance to make informed decisions. SIL went on to have 2 more kids with him and i have put so much time, effort, money, and resources to help support his troubled a**. i put him thru college, got him at least 2 jobs, paid his bills, paid for his jail accounts, let him live with me and my wife, the list goes on. its safe to say that alot of those things i would not have willingly given up if i had known his level of deceit. im humiliated and devastated. there after the affair started, it wasnt the normal level of meanness my ex and i had been use to in our fights. she became cruel. i had no clue what i could have done to deserve the physical and psychological warfare. those were some of my darkest days and i blamed myself for it. when that relationship ended i was broken. how i could have made someone who cared so much and that i respected so much hate me so viciously? i believed for over a decade that i was a terrible person and have been trying to cope with being afraid of all my relationships.

iv been in therapy for years so i havent reacted in the way i wouldve expected. im proud of my growth.... buuuuuut i feel like for the first time i need to stick up for myself. bad people have walked all over me my whole life, brother included. im officially done and ready to clap back. issue is i dont trust SIL to handle this proportionately. hes cheated many times and is on his last strike but i doubt id see any justice, just humiliation from the rest of our huge family. so i plan to get my pound of flesh first and let her have him after.

no one knows that i know except for the ex-bff that confessed last week. my brother is unaware that i know and SIL is clueless.

my goal is to absolutely humiliate him, safely, legally, and in a way that doesnt cost the food on my nieces table. this is a bit more challenging than i thought.

rn i had the idea to drive him 5 hours away and leave him at a greyhound station. then tell his wife what hes done. im not particularly keen on a 5 hour drive when gas is $4+ a gal.

so if anyone has some sadistic advice, im all ears. i am ready to take back my power before i sever the connection.