I AM NOT OOP
Original Post:
My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years and married for a few. Our relationship has been really strained lately and I’ve also been dealing with a lot personally.
Another woman became involved in our lives in a way that was initially more open/complicated. I’ll own that I didn’t handle that situation well and have apologized for my part in how things unfolded. But over time, it became clear to me that I’m not okay with that kind of dynamic at all and things ended. We all know how throuples end, I know I know. Hindsight.
I told my husband that if we’re going to try to fix our marriage, there can’t be an ongoing relationship on his end with her.
He initially agreed, but then changed his mind. He says it’s “against his morals” to cut someone off who hasn’t done anything wrong to him, and he sees my request as controlling and an unfair ultimatum.
I’m not trying to control him—I’m saying what I need in order to stay and work on the relationship. I don’t feel like I can move forward while he’s still connected to someone he’s been emotionally and physically involved with.
This has caused a lot of arguments, and now we are on no contact for a while.
AITA for making this a non-negotiable if we’re going to try to fix our marriage?