I risked myself in the void,
only I felt tenderness in the kisses,
I took the risk alone.
And then I began to write without stopping,
not even three throats could withstand
the storm Nina —and I collapsed.
Five thousand words with no reply,
no consent, no emotional reaction.
You don’t remember a single word,
I tried so hard,
but what can I do
if your heart never even came.
My touch, no matter how gentle it is,
is not soft to you.
My lips do not call to you,
my voice does not calm you.
My absence does not make your heart ache,
ache.
I am not the one who makes you tune your voice when you answer,
nor the one your eyes most want to see.
Will detachment save me from you?
It will have to,
even if I have to cleanse you from me
like someone filtering their own blood
Because keeping you within me hurts more than losing you,
Until there is nothing left of you
in me.
That will be the end.