I don't want to create anything, unless I'm asked to.
I'm a 36 year old 3D artist and for years I've been almost creatively impotent - that is, hardly able to create anything, unless it's for someone else.
The last truly worthwhile project I did "for myself" was an animated music video for one of my favorite songs. It took months of boring work. Oftentimes I forced myself to work "just 30 minutes" on it, just to get things moving, because I lost motivation almost instantly - despite formerly believing it was my dream to create animated music videos.
That was 6 years ago.
I can do some SMALL stuff for myself. Like drawing - been dabbling in it since kindergarten, it's fun and you get visible results very quickly, unlike big animation projects or 3D art.
And then I look at stuff on Instagram, people creating these very impressive sequences just "for fun". It's moments like these I really start wondering if I'm even supposed to be a 3D artist?
Even to work on my portfolio, I had to ask people to commission me - at very tiny prices - just to be able to work on a long term project at any kind of reasonable pace and not giving up.
The feeling of responsibility to people is what drives me, not any inner creative urge. I only seem to be able to be a car on someone else's train, instead of being a locomotive myself.
I'd like to be a "real" artist and create long hard projects just for creativity's sake. But so far all I can do is find tricks and workarounds just to force myself to work.
And at the same time, the idea of just giving up entirely and choosing a different field feels very wrong, because I do get satisfaction out of completing projects and am often proud of them as a result - despite the process often being utterly boring.