AIO for wanting to break up with my boyfriend for staring at me while I cry.
Looking for advice, writing angrily from my heating pad in bed 🤣
Me (27f) and my boyfriend (26m) have been dating for four years, he has a son that is 5 (this is relevant). We have recently been house hunting and have our year planned out (concerts/roadtrips/ect)
He is my best friend and presents as the perfect boyfriend EXECPT when I have a bad day. We don't have petty arguments and often have clear and open communication about things that bother us. I am extroverted and emotional (reasonably I might add) while he is calm and quiet. I've been to therapy and try my best to shine light and compassion into people's lives everyday.
Anyways:
Today I woke up with a tweaked neck, I worked through it while also taking care of his son through the afternoon until I went to work around 4pm (my job is physically demanding). I am also in the middle of a renovation at work which I have shown gratitude for the help he has given me. He was in the area to pick up his son and I asked him for a hand with something, as I couldn't manage to move much after servicing my client. When the time came for me to leave the pain in my neck grew and became unbearably sharp. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so I felt silly (and old) for crying over a teaked neck. I definitely have been overworking my body. As we carried my things to my car I started to breakdown in the parking lot due to the sharpening pain I was experiencing from walking. He just looked at me and said "you just tweaked it, you should put some ice and heat on it".
I got in my car and realized I couldn't put my head into position to drive. I started crying again, and told him through tears " I don't think I can drive:
He replied "I guess I can drive you home" ....nope.
I called my parents to drive me and my car home, he offered to wait but I felt uncomfortable and grew a bit irritated that him and his son stood in my open door just silently watching me cry. This lasted for far too long. I am not proud of my use of profanity (we don't like to use bad words in front of his son) but I said "my dad is coming" and "you can just fucking go home" and he asked "where did that came from"
I told him he was "just standing there spectating my pain". He blankly said "goodbye" and walked to his car, leaving his son to trail behind him in the busy parking lot.
I don't feel that I over reacted , I am actually really upset with the way he handled the situation (and I think it sets a horrible example for his son). He's done this before, for example: a few months ago, I left his house crying. Again as I put my shoes on to leave he stood a few feet away just staring at me. He ghosted me for a day before I reached out to confirm we were still attending a meeting with a realtor we previously scheduled. He picked me up and we drove in dead silence. We had the most awkward meeting with the realtor. It was so uncomfortable that I finally broke down and brought up how alone and unsupported I felt by his actions. I warned him that I am uninterested in a relationship that isnt mutually compassionate and encouraged him to seek therapy.
My mom thinks he can learn to handle the situation differently but I am honestly tired of telling him to be an empathetic boyfriend. I suspect that if I dont reach out he will just let this interaction fester until i eventually give in to talk it out. Is this normal ? Should I breakup with him over this? What if something worse happens and his only response is to blankly stare.