Hi all—looking for honest input because I’m feeling really unsure how to interpret what’s going on with my son.
He’s 4 (turns 5 in September) and has been having repeated behavior issues at preschool that are leading to frequent calls to pick him up early.
The general pattern:
Issues tend to happen during nap time or quieter parts of the day
He gets frustrated and starts doing his own thing (puzzles, small toys, moving around)
When corrected, he escalates (not listening, scooting around, etc.)
* In cases, it ends with hitting when he’s removed from the classroom
A recent example:
He was playing with magnets, then laid on a desk. The teacher corrected him, he started scooting in a chair, was removed from class, and then hit an admin.
What’s throwing me off is:
-At home and in other environments, he does not behave this way
-He can regulate pretty well with us
-This weekend, when he got upset leaving a friend’s house, he told the adult he “needed a break to cool off,” which honestly surprised me in a good way
***He has expressed his feelings and tried to use coping tools at school (like asking for a break or communicating frustration), but from what I understand, he’s sometimes gotten pushback or hasn’t been allowed to follow through in those moments
Things we’ve tried:
-Worked with the school on a plan (not sure it’s being followed consistently - it took less than a week before they started threatening to remove him)
-Talked with him about using words, asking for breaks, etc.
-Tried to provide extra snacks since hunger seems to play a role (school wouldn’t allow without a doctor’s note)
My question is NOT whether to pull him from the school.
I’m trying to understand:
Has anyone else dealt with this? Am I expecting too much from the school? Am I doing something wrong here?
I’m especially confused because he can show emotional awareness and self-regulation in the right setting, which makes me wonder if this is more environment-specific.
Would really appreciate hearing from parents who’ve seen something similar—did it improve with age, or did you end up pursuing evaluations/support?