u/Busy_Grapefruit_4883

Lately I have paid a lot of mind to this. It truly seems to be a theme with everyone I have discussed intimate and romantic relationships with. It has occurred in my own relationships as well, where I have realized in retrospect that I have tried to embody my partner's dual because I realize it's what they desire instead of me in my rawest, realest form.

It seems to me that the things that are experienced as lacking in relationships are often the qualities that duals could very effortlessly bring to the table, and the dual is always subconsciously projected onto the romantic partner. And then, when the non-dual partner inevitably fails to embody the dual, there is a puzzling feeling of disappointment and lack.

Maybe it's a very obvious thing, considering it's what the theory suggests. I myself have very limited social circles and thus my data is also based on only a handful of individuals. You people who sail away in your mighty boats on life's social currents, do you frequently perceive this phenomenon? Basically I am curious about how this all manifests in real life.

I am a 9 for sure but I frequently feel so irritated and frustrated with other 9s. I have 3 I have known very closely, and dealing with them all in the day-to-day has just always been so difficult and grating. I always feel like I am walking on eggshells, even though supposedly they are so serene and good and peaceful and everyone else is the problem.

One of them literally runs away when things get uncomfortable, is intolerant to anything that would disturb their peaceful illusion. It's impossible to speak to them about anything but the weather.

One of them can not ever express their opinions. Every answer to every question is "I don't know" or anxious silence. Even when you coax them nicely to tell you what they think, they withold the information and make you feel like a monster when you get frustrated and push them to assert themselves even a little bit.

One of them always tells you that everything is fine and by doing so, lies to your face. Then, after two years, they tell you they were never happy and their needs weren't ever met, they are always dissatisfied and everything's lost.

Now, I am aware that each person described has gone through their own difficulties that have shaped them and so forth.

I guess it's just annoying seeing myself in every single one of them and working my ass off everyday to become a better person. Meanwhile, they stay stuck in these slothful patterns and have everyone else guessing wtf is even going on and whether they secretly hate you or what.

No shade on any of my fellow 9s. I see you, I feel you. You're still annoying af and so am I. 😭

Curious if you feel similarly about others of the same type as yourself. Or maybe you really love their presence and feel mirrored in a good way?