I watched a video on FAs by Heidi Priebe (who is more on the non-judgemental side as she was FA and had to do a ton of healing)
I was struggling with why they have so many friends. Even long lasting, meaningful ones.
A really eye opening comment on the video went:
"One of my biggest problems, is that I don't have any friend who can help me make a decision when I'm disorientated between my thoughts and feelings. All they ever say is "block him!" and blame EVERYTHING on the man. It doesn't help me whatsiever and has caused me to shut down even more."
And there was a reply:
"Because their hear your reasoning, your pain, your fear. That's reasonable advice there. Do you tell them how madly in love you are, how emptiness is killing you without the loved one, the other side of the story that's not describable by facts?"
They always describe their fear activated side of the story. Being surrounded by people who only agree with the fear filter. Never actually probe their side of the story.
They dont have a good accountability team. Which is why they need a neutral thrid party like therapy to really probe what is going on.