Alright Reddit,
I’ve got a doozy for you and I’m in a place where I am physically on my own with no village to help. I have primary custody, we split almost 50/50 of the time, but today we had an incident.
Back story first:
I, single mom to one kid, divorced for three years. Dad is undocumented from El Salvador or in the process of as he remarried a Dominican woman with papers. IYKYK.
Anyway, his income is half off the books and child support is based off of his reported income which is insane. It is not being pulled from his bank account as he gives monthly checks.
Today I confronted him regarding showing up when he feels like it to drop off our son to school (he showed up once last week), always used work as an excuse and does not apologize nor take accountability when wrong nor thinks he’s wrong. Our son confirmed after I asked which household he feels more comfortable in as he has previously stated how he doesn’t feel well at his stepmoms apartment. He is frequently left with others I have not met and am not communicated when he is being babysat. His father has made him into an iPad kid, he has two phones and when our son buckles in, that’s if he buckles in his dads car, his dad immediately gives him YouTube kids on one of the phones. He’s even gotten car sickness on multiple occasions with his dad. Me, no car, the vehicle(s) we co-signed, he took and neglected to include in the divorce decree so I got screwed on that and didn’t fight enough for it, and he rejected helping pay for one. I need direction and to be able to navigate this responsibly and respectfully. Because today this argument played out in front of the kiddo and I immediately walked to his school and met with him and the counselor to talk and make sure he was okay.
I’m tired. I went back to school as well because my boss pushed me too. I live in NYC, and cannot financially retain a lawyer. I believe I am registered for MetLife Legal Services through my employer and will look further into this, but at the same time need real time feedback from real people who’ve lived something similar. I plan to go full force in advocating for my son and he deserves a father who is present and actually cares about his wellbeing and not focused on himself and his new wife.
Thank you in advance!