This could be a bit triggering for some, so I kept the title vague. (Sexual abuse)
So I’m pretty sure I’m asexual. I have discovered what it is when I was 16 and 8 years have passed since then and I never questioned it.
When I was younger I always thought people were exaggerating when they talked about someone being hot or wanting to have sex. Later I found out that’s not the case and I am just different. I’m happy with identifying as ace and I don’t care who accepts my label or doesn’t. No one gets to decide that but me.
Now to the actual problem part. I am very sure I’m asexual, but I also have sexual trauma. I was sexually abused as a child (incest) and therefore also experience sexual regression (I feel dirty and guilty when I engage in sexual activity or am aroused). So my best friend (who is the only person who knows about my trauma) also doubts that I am asexual because of it.
I know some people might think I am not asexual, but simply traumatised. But not feeling attracted to people is not the same as sexual regression because of trauma. A lot of people have it and still feel sexual attraction. But I don’t even know what sexual attraction feels like. I have thought people are pretty or charming, but I NEVER have looked at a person and thought I want to sleep with them.
Basically I just need some validation. Do you guys also think this is entirely possible and logical? Does anyone have the same problem?