I'm not entirely certain this is the right place for it, but as it ties directly into being asexual.
I hate the kind of person I am.
I'm someone who loves to tease people, I love getting reactions and being in control of a situation; and I'm generally a confident and dominant person. I like being seen as attractive, I honestly hope that people look at me and end up flustered. Hell, online I even like to flirt with some of my friends because they instantly lose composure and it makes me feel very powerful and happy to be able to do that to them.
I make it clear to them that I'm just messing with them, that I have no real desire or intention of acting on anything I joke about, but it constantly feels like I'm playing with fire and I'm a terrible person for leading them on like this. I tell people I'm asexual, that I'm aromantic (Demiromantic technically, but since I've only had one crush ever, its easier to say aromantic), and recently that I am probably agender; yet it makes me feel gross that I take so much joy teasing them.
The worst part is I can't even fucking turn it off. I tried to pull back with a friend and reiterate that any flirting I do is a joke, and said I felt bad about it because "I feel vaguely like a cat playing with a mouse." and he fucking moaned. I was playing Abiotic Factor with another friend and she kept running off and getting into trouble, and my FIRST response was to fucking hit her with "I swear, I need to put a leash on you." and she started stammering.
Forgive the metaphor, but its like I got the 'whore' skill-set when I was made and have no ability or intention to fulfill it. I either constantly run the risk of hurting people, which makes me feel like shit; or I cut out a major part of my personality so nobody gets hurt. I just... hate it so much.