I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (28M) for exactly one week and I’m already feeling massive regret. We met two years ago at a speakeasy and stayed very close friends. Back then he had his own place and was a game developer at a big (well-known) studio, but right before we reconnected his car broke down (transmission died) and then he got laid off when everyone came back to the office post-COVID. His roommate moved out, he lost the apartment, and he had to move back in with his parents.
He’s since gotten a new game dev job and a decent car (co-signed, of course). He even had two jobs for a while. But he’s still always broke because he’s paying off the old car, has terrible money habits, and his parents apparently ruined his credit when he was a kid.
When he confessed he’d been in love with me for years I said yes even though I knew he didn’t really have his life together. I told myself I loved him and it would be fine.
Fast-forward to this past week of “dating”:
• I have paid for every meal, every hangout, gas, etc.
• I even paid his $300 car-tow bill when he parked on the wrong side of a parking lot.
• He works so much at the new job that he’s literally sleeping at the office because they won’t pay him until his part of the game is finished.
• He’s exhausted, agitated, and barely has time for me.
I keep telling myself “this is just a bump in the road,” but the truth is he’s been in this “bump” the entire two years I’ve known him. He used to be “rich” (or at least stable) before all this, but that was years ago. I’m a broke college student myself, so this is hitting me hard.
He’s always saying he’s sorry and he loves me, but I haven’t seen any real effort like flowers or even small gestures. My BPD brain is screaming that he doesn’t actually love me and I’m just a wallet to him right now. Everyone in my life is telling me to “be patient” and “give him a chance because life is hard,” but I feel stupid and used.
I don’t know what to do. Do I cut my losses after one week? Or am I being unfair because he’s genuinely in a rough spot? Has anyone been in a similar situation where the guy was going through it and it actually got better?
Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.
TL;DR:
He lost his good game dev job, car & apartment post-COVID, now lives with parents at 28 & is still broke. I’ve paid all dates + his $300 tow. He works nonstop, barely sees me, no effort. Everyone says “give him time” but he’s been like this for 2 years. I’m broke too. Break up?