u/BunchBeneficial8786

my ex has started his third relationship since we broke up in January but this time, started it inside the house we're still sharing until our lease is up. He told mutual and his friends about this and I'm angry and embarrassed, most of his friends just ' want him to be happy ' but our mutual friend is angry at him which is relieving but Its absolutely insane no one else told him " hey dude, kind of fucked not to keep it outside the house " but he probably wouldn't have listened anyways, so what's the point.

I want to move out so terribly bad and never talk to him again, I called him selfish and sneaky, and some other things I probably shouldn't have but this feels so difficult, and I can't believe I continue to be treated like this. I know I should've continued grey rocking, ignoring, etc but this has been a very hard week and experience to go through on top of so much.

he says " its unexpected " and " the feelings came out of no where " when he's only known this person for a month, and Im so frustated this other person thought this was okay that I have to wonder if something is wrong with them. I've seen him use relationships (and polyamory) as a distraction for a long time and it's put me off from relationships and probably what's broken the camals back on non monogamy for me.

I just feel angry, I'm tired of him saying he wants this break up to go cordial and still cares about me but does this, amongst still subjecting me to his unregulated emotions and splits.

who tf does this stuff

he can jump from relationship to relationship and I sit here wondering if I'll ever trust again and deleted all the apps because someone telling me they liked to see people frequently was triggering for some reason, I guess considering how much time, life and energy my ex sucked out of me.

fucked up lol

I just wanted to vent about it I guess

I blocked him on everything after this so I guess maybe something good came out of it because for awhile it felt too hard and scary too

My biggest grief in my relationship as I get ready to move is my exwPWD has a nonprofit, they do things that are considered honorable, kind and supportive and seem to understand being intentional, thoughtful and pouring into that kind of work but it never extended to me despite I pouring my energy into him and that work, as I'm someone who cares about helping other people too.

I've felt crazy for months seeing how he would treat people who accessed his events and resources for months, seeing how kind he was, how accountable he was to feedback, how much effort and time he put into it.

Yet, if I asked for half of what he gave to the nonprofit, there was an argument, he would get defensive, he would do it but half assed, he would ruin the dates but staying in bad mood, he would say I didn't understand the pressure despite my full time job being in education, and helping with his events, often when no one else could.

I've never understood this, and I struggled with people pleasing and feeling selfish, but how could I be selfish when all I asked for was some effort, kindness and time poured into me the way I was asking for it? not quick fix presents and love bombing dates and gestures.

How ridiculous that I was trying to get attention after he would have weeks of event planning and meetings, to be told after the event was done, while carrying his emotions through it all, just to be told he was too tired or forget completely, like I wasn't tired either.

Its been three years of feeling like a emotional punching bag and outlet for sex, a constant to do things he said no one else would do for him and everyone was the same, and all I would want is a clean house, and to have a conversation without getting into it, to be given time to rest, for my food i made even when tired to be appreciated. It was one of the things that made me fall for him, I admired the work he does, and I still do but it still confuses me how he could treat me like this, and makes me really sad and angry.