Im 41F he’s 38F AuADHD and who still lives at home, was brought up very religious and tends to lean avoidant in terms of attachment style yet he has some serious kinks in the bedroom. I own my own house and divorced and lean anxious. For context
We were dating on and off since summer 2021. We broke up on Boxing Day 2025 after a rough few months.
I last saw him 12 days ago where he surprised me by bringing over wine and sushi. We watched a film and chatted about maybe getting back together and he kissed me on the way out. Today he sent the bow message and I’ve since blocked him to be fair on the other girl.
I’m just feeling a lot of emotional whiplash and like I’m grieving the relationship again. I’m trying not to be angry but it’s hard to not feel like I wasted the last fertile years of my life on this guy. I’m mad he’s moved on and manages to hurt me one last time in the process. Any advice on reframing this so I don’t mentally get stuck in a loop over his behaviour would help. I also didn’t say anything to him when I blocked him and don’t know if I should ahve said anything. The chat continued after the below but mostly him saying he valued me and me saying we shouldn’t speak, thank you for telling me and I wish him luck. But it’s hard because I feel really really mad.
Message :
There is something I do need to make you aware of (insert my name)
I’m just saying this so the airs clear between us and there’s no confusion going forward
I went on a few dates with a gal I’ve been talking with for a few weeks now
My auntie set us up and I think I like her unfortunately the health rubbish is mauling me as usual which sucks
My heads abit of mess mentally etc with getting sick since all I want to do is the right thing atm but can’t catch a break
Can you pray for me please going forward you know me better than most and understand my situation and stupidity better than most <3
TL;DR grieving the relationship again