u/BumblebeeDiligent359

Hi guys I’m 20F and really confused about my sexuality.

For the past 2 years, I was in an extremely intense homoerotic friendship with my best friend, and honestly I think I fell in love with her. We’d hold hands, hookup drunk, speak like lovers, and the emotional connection between us was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It completely flipped my world upside down and confused the hell out of me.

The feelings I had for her were way deeper than anything I’ve ever felt for a guy.
I have experienced attraction to men before. I’ve had small crushes, enjoyed kissing men, and can become aroused/enjoy being sexual with them. I can feel things with a man in the moment, but it hasn’t turned into deep romantic feelings.

Anyways since that chaotic situation with the girl i developed feelings for, I downloaded dating apps to explore things more with girls. I hooked up with another girl and I liked it, but emotionally afterwards, it felt similar to kissing a guy I had no real feelings for. The emotional side still didn’t fully click with her either.

So I'm like is it the gender, or is it just the person and the connection? The fact I’m 20 and still haven’t had deep romantic feelings for a guy is what keeps making me spiral a bit.

Part of me thinks maybe I just haven’t met a guy who triggers that emotional side of me. But another part of me wonders if the reason this girl affected me so much more deeply is because I’m actually lesbian and just struggling to accept it.

I know I’m not straight, but I genuinely am so confused. It stresses me out because I am closeted and I don't really have anyone close to openly talk to about it.

Am I overthinking this? Is it normal Im 20 and havent yet had feelings for a guy.. or could it be a sexuality sign? Has anyone else experienced something similar while figuring out their sexuality?

Hi guys I’m 20F and really confused about my sexuality.

For the past 2 years, I was in an extremely intense homoerotic friendship with my best friend, and honestly I think I fell in love with her. We’d hold hands, hookup drunk, speak like lovers, and the emotional connection between us was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It completely flipped my world upside down and confused the hell out of me.

The feelings I had for her were way deeper than anything I’ve ever felt for a guy.
I have experienced attraction to men before. I’ve had small crushes, enjoyed kissing men, and can become aroused/enjoy being sexual with them. I can feel things with a man in the moment, but it hasn’t turned into deep romantic feelings.

Anyways since that chaotic situation with the girl i developed feelings for, I downloaded dating apps to explore things more with girls. I hooked up with another girl and I liked it, but emotionally afterwards, it felt similar to kissing a guy I had no real feelings for. The emotional side still didn’t fully click with her either.

So I'm like is it the gender, or is it just the person and the connection? The fact I’m 20 and still haven’t had deep romantic feelings for a guy is what keeps making me spiral a bit.

Part of me thinks maybe I just haven’t met a guy who triggers that emotional side of me. But another part of me wonders if the reason this girl affected me so much more deeply is because I’m actually lesbian and just struggling to accept it.

I know I’m not straight, but I genuinely am so confused. It stresses me out because I am closeted and I don't really have anyone close to openly talk to about it.

Am I overthinking this? Is it normal Im 20 and havent yet had feelings for a guy.. or could it be a sexuality sign? Has anyone else experienced something similar while figuring out their sexuality?