I need help
Slm.
Im currently contemplating divorce as my marriage has no space for me and my emotions. My relationship with inlaws has been rocky to say the least but shukr nothing on my side where I've said anything to upset them, just through them and their jokes undermining me as his wife. im a quiet and soft hearted person that doesnt like speaking incase I do say something that'll unintentionally hurt someone else. Recently I've gotten so overwhelmed with interesting treatment from my sister in laws, that I've reached my boiling point and I told my husband im tired of being disrespected my his bros wife and she does in in subtle ways even infront of him. I told him why is he so quiet when she does this to me and why doesnt he speak up for me because I can never confront them and if I do theyll all team up against me including my husband (happened before). Both sils and husband against me telling me im too sensitive and im victimizing myself.
So last night after me questioning him and telling him im feeling uncomftable at his family function because of how I've been left intentionally excluded ij the corner by his sil, his response was no he wants to stay for tea. And I was visibly uncomfortable so I went into another room. So upset that he couldn't understand and just listen to me for once. I begged him almost tearing and he paid no heed. Just did whag he wanted to and what his family wanted. Mind you we had been to his family 3 days in a row from atleast 9pm to 12am. That last night I was pushing to go home around 8pm after 2 nights of straight early mornings.
It broke out into a fightt with my trying to get him to respond to my conversation, he was distracting himself wirh his phone completely ignoring me then when I pushed him for an answer he said what must he do, he will never disrupt the peace between his siblings and say anything to his bros wife so if I assume he will change he wouldnt and I should leave him. It got to a point where I pressed for answer why he just acts like a lap dog whenever his bros wife's says something or if she wants to go to a certain place we all are carted and I can not say no I have to go with the flow and whatever they do I should follow to the T. He got upset and told me to sleep in the spare room. I refused then he woke up from bed and went into the bathroom trying to ignore me yet again.
I got upset and told him okay if his protection is only towards his siblings and especially to his sil then I will leave him. I was so furious, he always defends her and im left exposed and alone trying to adjust to their disrespect. I grabbed my pillows and asked if hes happy that his sil and him can get on happily together without me and im done with this marriage.
Today, I cried all morning and afternoon stuck in the room. I cant face the man thats supposed to be my protector when we made nikkah because he told me he would choose his sil over me and I should leave. I dont know what to do, I know divorce is hated and thats the last thing anyone should think off, but he hasn't even attempted to come and speak to me and tried to understand me. I just feel like im between his enmeshed family dynamic and its better if I remove myself as he said.
Please give me advice.