I was unfaithful to my wife, and I regret it.
My wife (26F) and I (26M) have been married for almost 4 years. We met during university, and a few months before graduating, she became pregnant with our first child. It was difficult, yes, I remember that time very well. She and I work in similar fields — I’m a software developer, and my wife works in network engineering — while my parents take care of our son. During all this time, our relationship has been very stable. A few months ago, a coworker invited me and some other colleagues to go out. I’m not really someone who likes parties or goes out often, but I told my wife about it and said I would probably come home late. That night I met a girl, the cousin of one of my coworkers. We’ll call her Laura. She was 19. Laura seemed very beautiful to me: brown hair, fair skin, and brown eyes. I could have stopped things from the flirting stage, but my male instincts told me not to, because sexually, my relationship with my wife no longer satisfied me. I think I “suffer” from a strong sexual appetite. Laura and I connected because we shared some interests. We talked, drank, and danced. Then I suddenly woke up and realized Laura was beside me in a room. My heart started racing. She woke up too and told me, “I like you.” I stayed silent, but deep down I liked her too, even though it hurts to admit it. From that day on, I became obsessed with her. For several months we kept seeing each other, going out to different places or having sex while my wife was at work and my mom was taking care of my son. One day I came home from work, and my wife, my son, and my parents surprised me for my birthday. That day I held back the urge to cry. But when everything ended, I went to take a shower and cried there. At that moment I realized how much I truly love my family. Since then, I started drinking in secret. Some people might say, “Why don’t you see a therapist?” But no, I don’t want my wife to suddenly find out why I’m going to therapy. I’ve been thinking about leaving Laura so I can focus on my family, although I’m afraid. I don’t know if she became attached to me and might tell my wife about the affair. This happened almost two weeks ago, and I’ve been thinking about telling my father, because if I tell my mother, she would probably be disgusted with me. She hates cheaters because my grandparents are divorced, and she once told me she suffered a lot after being cheated on in a past relationship. I’m posting this because I think maybe I can find someone who has gone through my situation or is currently going through it.
English is not my native language