My wife (f23) and I (m22) argue about her working, how do I navigate this?
Ok so for context, my wife and I have been married for about a year and a half and we've been together almost 5 years now. I'm that five years she's had 4 jobs technically but has continually gone back to one of them in between each job so her resume shows 9 (I think lost track) technically. Most recently she was an independent contractor as a massage therapist for a year. Contract ran out in March and they didn't want to re sign her, part of it was great timing because I was about to get shoulder reconstruction and I wanted her to take a couple weeks off to help me so it was no big deal.
Well now that I'm somewhat recovered from surgery and can do things alone I asked her if she would start looking for a job, financially we're not in a horrible spot not in a great spot though almost all of our expenses are covered by short term disability checks and we have a decent size savings account but I would like to avoid pulling from that because it's meant for a house down payment not living. When I asked her to start looking she started to but very slowly. She applied at a store and they wanted to schedule an interview she complained about how the work place seemed really toxic (something someone said on the phone with her) and didn't set up an interview. And I kinda lost it. I feel awful for raising my voice I told her I'm very tired of her pulling this and it feels like she just doesn't want to work. Been a couple days now and a family friend asked if she'd be interested in being essentially a secretary for her coworkers she was super excited and I was too. So the friend put her name out and we're kinda waiting to hear back. This morning I asked if she'd apply for of jobs similar to this opportunity mostly because we have no clue when the position opens. She just said she wanted to wait to hear back from the friend to do anything else with applying to new places.
How do I talk to her about this? The other day is the first time I got really upset but I'm really tired of living this way, that my job alone keeps us living. I had a job offer that would give me my dream job eventually but I turned it down knowing she wouldn't stay at a job long and we wouldn't make it. As well as I seriously doubt we'll get approved for a home loan because her track record. I just don't know how to navigate this I suck at communicating without making her spiral into depression. Am I expecting to much?