I am just going to be rambling but I need somewhere to vent my frustration. I'm so sad I'm sobbing as I write this. This morning a kitten died and it could've been prevented easily, I've kept her alive for 3 weeks and everyday I felt different about if she was going to pass or make it into adult hood.
I am a pet groomer so I know what to look out for and I'd say I'm very knowledgeable when it comes to illness for the most part. I have fostered before, by myself, and everything was successful but very expensive. That's why I thought it would be a good idea to foster through the Watertown NY spca. Yes I will call them out I'm so upset. I thought it was weird that they kinda just let us have the mom and babies but that's not too important. They just took my word for it and didn't give us any info on anything. I know I should've asked more when picking them up but it felt like we were being rushed out of there. So, we have no idea where these guys came from, how mom behaves etc. What we did assume they are healthy enough to be in our home as they told us the vet cleared them so why would I assume otherwise??
Anyway we got home and luckily mom was super sweet and not just because of her hormones, she's just got a great personality. But she is bloated with air which is no big problem but just weird. Taking a look over her, she was very dirty, clearly has some kind of cold (I was scared it was a uri,) and the girl is itchy. She had topical flea stuff put on her which I also thought that was just odd to do because her babies. But looking in her ears, there are very clearly ear mites inside, naive me said not to worry- the vet cleared them so it couldn't actually be ear mites right???
Onto the babies, there are 2 of them a male and female and 5 days old. Right away the female is much smaller and looks a lot more worrisome than her brother. I looked both of them over and they too, seemed to have a cold. They had little boogies and were also dirty. But again the female was worrying me. I don't even want to type her name because it makes me so sad . In a pervious post, I asked for advice because her genitals were raw. I actually noticed something wasn't right the first time I looked but again vet cleared, we weren't told to look out for anything so no worries. I emailed them right away when I knew it was an emergency. I could tell it was going to bother her. Luckily I made that post and it cleared up very fast thanks to all of you. But it took them a day to reply, and said to bring her in. at this point I was putting diaper rash cream on it and it was looking SO much better but I still wanted to go to the appointment because the the same night I saw her genitals, I knew something else was wrong with her. She was still so tiny and growing at an extremely slow rate. And now she was having very bad diarrhea, like not normal at all. It would just come out of her and the poor thing was so upset everytime it happened. it made her very uncomfortable. So I wanted to mention that to them instead. I almost forgot in the same time all of this is happening her eyes started to open but one had an infection and was sealed shut because of it. So, she's got all this going on with her. I want to emphasize how worried I was about the diarrhea. I did my own research and I concluded she was dehydrated. Went to their vet and I got meds for her eye, they checked her genitals even when I told them that it was okay which like ofc I'm not mad at that it is just frustrating because they wouldn't listen to me about the most crucial part, her dehydration. I kept having to mention it. You can literally look at her and feel she wasn't doing good. why the vet said nothing I don't know. But I kept bugging anybody I could while I was there to help fix this issue. and guys, I said "should I give her pedialite to help?" and the first girl looked at me like I wanted to hurt the baby. she said nonono here I'm gonna have one of our more experienced foster talk to you. No? like that was the number one thing I was seeing people say to do. I think she assumed i was going to give her like human formula or something. i just thought it was so weird. The next lady comes in and basically just told me back everything I was already doing, and told me to get pedialite. okay. I knew that. Oh also they did open her eye. Basically, the vet visit just made me realize that some of these people probably don't know more than me. I'm already not feeling great with my experience.
Get home and they gave me some formula and so I was trying to do that and I thought hopefully, this works and my worries are behind me. But she keeps pooping. It's still not good. and now she is getting very bloated. It started small but was very clearly going to be fatal if something isnt done. They were closed and at that point it wasnt as bad as it got and I forgot to mention when we picked them up we made a mandatory 2 week vet visit. Okay, so I wait I think a day or so for the vet visit and I knew they were going to get dewormer even though they were just hitting that threshold I guess? idk. For this vet visit I was still extremely worried about several things and it started to fall apart.
I wanted to make sure that:
- They checked the bloat and see if she can poop normal
-They check mom's ears for the mites because atp I knew she had them
-They check mom's bloat
Honestly, I feel like there was more but it has been so awful that I can't remember. I was just extremely worried about baby girl. They call us into the medical room (yay I really wanted to just to see how they were doing things) and have her on the table. There's 3 people in there and what I assume to be the doctor was asking me about her some more. I told her she hasn't been pooping normal that it only comes out as diarrhea and she is just filling up more and more. (hindsight they should've known right away, I feel like) The vet looked me in my eyes and said "well if it is some kind of genetic thing... oh well." what??? you're the one who has to SOLVE THAT. I can't do anything, you're supposed to know more than me, I want to figure this out. please help. this is all I could think. but I didn't know what to actually say out loud. Then, her solution was to squeeze her belly a little bit and stimulate her. They kept telling me to stimulate her even though I had already been doing that and I'm repeating myself over and over. They said "when we squeezed her some poop came out and it looked mostly normal." No, it was diarrhea and I know it was. But they gave her dewormer and I was just hoping that it was in fact worms.
While we are in the medical room there are some cats waiting for their turn. but one kitten (I assume 8 weeks+) was rubbing her nose against the crate and meowing to get out. The longer we were in there the more intense it got. Her nose looked like it already had ringworm or something but you can tell she was hurting herself badly in the crate pushing her face on the wire to try to get out. her paws started to bleed too. I wish I was a confident person because if I EVER saw that in the salon I would scream my head off. It is a simple fix, put her in a mesh crate at LEAST. One of the girls that was in there glanced over and said "I know I know, you're next." but as it got worse I could tell she knew it wasn't right to keep her in there When I tell you she was bloody, it really really was. I honestly can't get the image out my mind especially because it is a simple fix. At work, even, I've had animals do that but never let it prolong like that.
Anyway, now it is mom's turn and low and behold she has earmites. What do they do to solve this problem? If you guessed give her advantage II you're correct. First of all another dose of that shit is crazy. I personally do not like topical but I know it's easy and I don't blame anyone for using it, especially a rescue. Second, ADVANTAGE DOESNT CLEAR EAR MITES??? Now my girlfriend who is also a pet groomer speaks up and kindly ask "is that going to take care of them?" Confidently they say yes. Then she gets her dewormer and they said what do you want for her? I mention she also gets bloated a lot, it will go down and up. It feels uncomfortable. "she's probably just adjusting to her food." Whatever, I was done. I bought earmite meds myself.
Get home still worried about baby girl and I'm really hoping that it is just worms. But we get a call, she ask if we can take in 2 more babies that are 2 days old and see if mom accepts them. Of course I say yes I know mom will accept because she's wonderful. We come back and now I know to look them over myself before anything. So I'm trying to be assertive and say "oh can we see them in medical?" and they say sure! but bring us to the medical waiting room. And once again, we were being rushed out. At least this time we kinda know where they came from. Unfortunately someone found them and said they were abandoned/rejected- don't know how true that is. When I got home the first thing I did was weigh them and they seemed pretty healthy, one was definitely healthier than the other but still decent. They did have a weird saliva but I chalked it up to maybe its literally just drool. I prepare some formula just incase they need extra but first I wanted to get them warmed up and I let them be for about 1h30? I'm not exactly sure. Immediately when I looked one was in danger he had diarrhea and it was just a little bloody. and was drooling, more. I rushed to try and save him and I thought that I did. he started mewing again and seemed much more alert and not lethargic. I clean him up very good and give him back. Went to grab formula when I come back he is dead. I'm sobbing. We didn't even have them for that long. That one was the one that was smaller. I'm really really upset about it. I mean, it is the first time I've had something die in my care. (forgot to mention they said "you didn't receive the after hours number? whoopsie.") We call the after hours number and it was actually the director of this spca. She says to bring him there, she is sorry this happened, and someone will be there waiting because they were about to close. We get there and we have this poor little baby in a towel. The guy was confused and that was just such a bad interaction. Having to hand this dead baby over when he didn't know wtf was going on was not what I was expecting or wanted. We get back and I check on them all again. Seem to be doing okay, I mean the other newborn was crying a lot but I thought it was alright. checking on her every like 15 mins. Not long after she was begging to be lethargic. I did the same thing again and I could tell she was fighting. My girlfriend gets on the phone with the director again and all she can say is "yup that's what happened when they're about to pass. I'm sorry, some people aren't comfortable with this but can you put her in a bag in the freezer... if not I can meet you there." Okay. I get it. I understand they go through this all the time. My GF tries to say yeah can we meet you there but now she redacted what she literally just said. "I can try to see if someone is willing to go... I just live kinda far" (it's less than 20 mins away.) Gf just gives up and says okay. Meanwhile during the call I'm trying so hard to bring her back. and again she's fighting. We call a few other people and then she too passed away. It was really really hard. I hate to think about in their short lives all they knew was suffering. Not only that now mom is searching for them and is confused.
Maybe it is just me putting human emotions onto animals but nah. I know they grieve. How do you tell a cat that. She must've been so confused it was a hard day for her too. My gf had to put her in the freezer. I couldn't do it. Next day baby girl is looking more bloated and I'm sure I could feel exactly what is blocking her from pooping. We drop off the body and this is what really enraged me. They had came with 2 more siblings who died when they got there. I just feel like that is so, so, so important to know. I thought it could've been me who killed them somehow. Now I feel like they just careless threw them our way and think "Hey maybe this would work." Even though I am so mad at them I will give them the benefit of doubt that they are a "no kill" shelter. So really that was the only option instead of euthanasia which I think would've been more appropriate if they could do that. Or maybe I have my facts wrong, I'm still confused by no kill shelters. Anyway baby girl later in the day yesterday started feeling a little better.. still no poop from what I knew but it looked like her bloat went down. She lost a significant amount of grams but I assumed it was because it had gone down. I decided I would call the next morning because I assumed they'd just tell me to wait and see if the dewormed does the trick.
I also wanted to mention that I am new to the area and haven't gone to any vets around so I didn't have anyone to call and it was against the foster contract. I tried calling everyone anyway. Nobody could take or was willing to do that due to the spca. I tried explaining to them that they haven't been the greatest help but they told me to just keep bugging them.
This morning me and my girlfriend were running a little behind because I drop her off to work so I didn't check like I normally do before I leave. it is not that long of a drive anyway. I do my morning chores and come upstairs and I could feel something wasn't right. Then I found her body "buried." I tried to fight for her so bad. I can't believe it. I called my gf and I just didn't know what to do with myself. I am more calm when I was beginning to write this but anytime I look over where I found her I just break down. I genuinely loved her so much I feel so awful that all she knew was suffering. She made it to 3 weeks but holy shit like every minute I was worried. She was so cute I really thought she had a chance. not once did she slow down. Not once did she nit throw a little kitten tantrum. It's hard because I had to pay attention to her more than the others due to my concerns with her. It was so hard to watch her belly just get bigger and I couldn't do anything about it. I know what happened. I know all it was she was constipated, I could feel it in her body. Her poor organs felt squished by all the bloat. I didn't want her to suffer. I wanted to help her. Why would they keep brushing me off. Why did it feel like we were talking about 2 separate cats. Why was the only thing to do was squeeze her. A vet should know more about that then me. A vet should know how to feel inside a cat and what could be wrong. I looked up kitten lady of course the night before and I know for a fact that she needed an enema. It wasn't a "genetic thing." And now mom has lost one of her own. She keeps checking the spot she put her in. I know she isn't happy. She's such a sweet girl and a really good mom. I could tell she was trying her best too. she knew something was wrong. Anytime baby girl would cry in pain she tried everything to stop it and she could. I wish I was more experienced. I wish that I was just a veterinarian instead of this. I'm going to be. I'm going to school. This experience just tells me there needs to be more people who actually give a fuck. When the director told us whatever she said all I could think is why doesn't anyone care. When animals start to feel like inanimate objects to you you are in the wrong field. Saying this especially because even some old coworkers or in general treat then like they are not alive or feel, like you wanted to pursue dog grooming. I don't know. I just wish there was more I could do for her. Now her brother has no one to cuddle with.
At this point it is hard for me to want to continue this until he is 8 weeks but I can't do that to mom. She seems to be very very happy here despite it all. I am going to continue for them. I feel so defeated and useless. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this until I am at least in school so I know what I can do by myself better. I know I will never foster with the Watertown NY spca ever again. Oh, also some eavesdropping I did they gave out some strange advice to people. And even worse since it's my job someone told a client to get clippers for her cat and attach the guard comb on to get matting out... That's not going to get matting out. I'm extremely disappointed with how they handled things and I don't even want to call them to tell them about her. I am alone today, I feel awful she is in the freezer it was so hard for me to put her in there. I don't ever want her to be cold. I'm so so sorry. I don't even know if anyone is going to read all this it is a lot. I think I just need it more for me. I just wish people cared about these things like I do. I feel alone.